This has taken me a while to articulate because sometimes it isn’t a specific thing that happens, it’s a specific energy—and the last week has been filled with a lot of energy.  The day before the eclipse, I saw Loren Ridinger in person to hear her speak.  The things that have happened since have changed the way I look at things.  I’ve felt this feeling of being on the precipice of a new life for a long time.  I truly do feel it, I just haven’t been able to move forward in it.  It’s fear conditioning as well as fear of the unknown.  It’s also a feeling of not being safe enough to take a risk on something I know I need to do.  I don’t always feel the support from those I have around me in the physical plane so I have to learn that sometimes we only need support from what we know we feel—from source.  I know there are things I have to walk away from—things I’ve tolerated for too long—but I’ve been afraid to because they are familiar.  But if I am to step up into my purpose, then I can’t expect everything to feel comfortable.  I can’t change if I won’t change.  The world will not bend to my will and give me what I want simply because I say I want it—change and development require work. And as easy as it sounds to make everyone understand and accept simply by doing, that isn’t how this works. 

Hearing Loren speak was unique and probably the most vulnerable I’ve heard her in the last few years I’ve worked with her—she is super powerful and incredibly encouraging, but she is a prime example that no matter how powerful we are (or feel) life keeps moving and happens as it wants to.  We have choices in those jarring moments and we can either collapse or we can pick ourselves up.  That type of energy coupled with the eclipse (an eclipse that inspires change), there is momentum beyond motivation at this point.  There is reason to care for myself, reason to stop hating myself, and maybe in healing me I’m discovering the message I’m meant to share with the world.  Hating ourselves gets us nowhere.  Love and healing clears the clutter and the baggage we’ve been carrying for too long—often baggage that was never ours as Loren says.  The world is hard enough and we battle enough with a society that sets us up to fail—we don’t need to have an internal battle with who we are as well, trying to figure out our worth.  We need to remember we are worthy.  We need to have faith that walking away from what doesn’t work for us doesn’t mean that we will lose it all.  Sometimes in the process of losing ourselves, we lose what we know, but we find the way to build ourselves back up again and become the person we are meant to be.

The truth is life is all about facing the moment.  I can’t even say it’s about facing fear because many of us avoid things like happiness and joy simply because we are used to being miserable or scared.  We often make ourselves the elephant cuffed to the chair—we have the power to leave at any time but we keep ourselves in place because we think we can’t move.  While familiarity is comfortable, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.  Life can hit us with a curve ball at any time no matter how well thought out or well intentioned our plans are.  Life doesn’t give a shit about our plans if they aren’t part of THE plan.  Keeping us locked in a box with the same routine to feed a system that drains us like a battery is not the plan of the universe even if that’s what we know.  In that regard life is about finding our resilience and being secure in our ability as well as developing who we are to become who we are meant to be.  Sometimes in order to fulfill that part of the plan we have to deal with things we would rather not deal with.  It isn’t to be cruel, it’s to push us to the point where we understand we can break that cuff or even crush the damn chair at any time.  There is power not in grinning and bearing it, but in realizing we have wings and then learning to fly.  Loren said our mind is the biggest prison in the world.  But what we need to remember is that we can break free of it at ANY time.  Do the thing, whatever it is, do it. Soon that thing that we’ve been unable to face becomes a kitten in a box instead of a lion—or we realize we ARE the lion and we bust that box down.  Fear only exists because we let it.  Learn to roar—there is no box.