“Knowing what must be done does away with fear,” Rosa Parks.  This quote applies on so many levels and I’m choosing to use it in reference to moving life forward on an individual level for all of us.  I wake up every morning with bleary eyes, like almost unable to see and this has been happening for nearly a year.  When it started happening with more frequency I told myself it was because I’m missing something, I’m not seeing clearly, I can’t see what’s coming.  It was an immediate knowing that it wasn’t necessarily physiological, it was psychological as well.  When we know what’s next, we do feel a certain sense of peace and certainty, and we feel like we know what’s next.  I pulled some affirmations and they were about merging desire and faith to take steps with certainty.  It’s the knowing, the faith, the trust that creates certainty and confidence and all of that comes from clarity on the what and releasing the how.  I’ve been looking for the how like it was my job to have all the answers instead of just living.  Sometimes it’s ok to simply do what feels right.

I’ve witnessed my siblings and their lives and how they did things, so many times not knowing the long term.  I’ve always looked for the long term, the possible pain around every corner trying to mitigate and find the absolute best decision before making a move. I didn’t want any pain.   In so many ways I still feel child-like because I’m operating on what is right and how I think it should be…and no one knows how paralyzing that is.  People see me as confident but that only comes because I have a sense of righteousness about it should be a certain way.  When it doesn’t go that way I lose it.  I have a tendency to not know how to cope if things don’t go as planned.  I created my own pain in avoiding it.  There is this truth about exhaustion from constant stimulation.  It’s too much, too much available at once, drinking from a fire hose all the time.  I wrote about being too stimulated the other day and color we crazy did a video on that today.  It’s too much.  How can we know what to do next when we are literally trying to breathe.  Always trying to be better, to be next, to do more, to be more, to consume more, to sell more.    

The first step then is to realize that we don’t always need more.  Sometimes we need less.  We need to stop and take our bearings and take in the simplest method of care.  What is the one thing we can address right now?  We don’t need to know all the answers because there is no way to know every step that’s coming.  We simply need to take that first step.  Begin.  Breathe.  And as we move forward the light begins to get brighter and brighter until we finally enter the clearing and can see our surroundings and understand.  There is no room for fear in that state. The light is too bright.  And it all started from taking a single step forward toward what felt right.  It isn’t about seeing the whole story—yes we need to stop and look at the big picture every now and then, but there are a wealth of pages filled with events from beginning to end.  Why are we trying to stress ourselves out figuring out every step of the way?  We allow it to happen naturally in some cases and in others we freak.  It made me a control freak, and losing control made me panic.  But there is nothing more freeing than allowing the universe to run its course.  There are answers we learn through feeling that alignment.  All we have to do is decide to take the first step—and then take it.