“An event challenges you.  Going through the process changes you,” John C. Maxwell. We have to go through the process to grow and become who we are meant to be.  Last week I went through an experience at work that completely put this in perspective.  One of my employees caused a major issue with potential for a lot of damage.  Stopping it and getting things under control was certainly challenging.  Explaining the seriousness of the situation to motivate people to move proved to be the most difficult part.  Then the waiting to determine the extent of the damage was next.  There was (and is) this limbo where we don’t know the extent of the damage or if anything actually happened, but we know what the potential meant as far as danger (yes, actual danger) to the organization.  Going through the process absolutely changed me.  It was hard enough to get people to move in this situation, but the aftermath made my skin crawl—still does.  Instead of supporting my decision for corrective action, leadership stepped in and told me that I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything.

My initial frustration was totally ego related—I made a decision I knew and, with every fiber of my being, I still know, was the right one only to have it overturned.  I felt entirely deflated.  This is the first time in quite a long time where my boss and I were 100% aligned so I expressed to her this is why I am inconsistent.  When I make a decision, especially one that is supported by our policies, and then someone overturns it, it not only undermines my authority, it undermines my confidence and my ability to lead.  Then it became about the actual circumstance in my mind; not to be dramatic, but given certain things we are dealing with security wise, this was the potential worst case of worst cases.  To have someone that high up ignorantly dismiss it infuriated me as I understood no matter what I did, this organization is going to do what it wants to do and that’s exactly how we end up getting in a ton of trouble—we never learn our lessons about listening to people.  It changed me to the point where I told my boss I felt like there was no reason to lead—and she understood.  S

o there was the logistical challenge of handling the situation and then there was the emotional challenge of navigating the consequences while not knowing the extent of the damage.  Then the collateral political damage of having ignorance from leadership overrule practical application of management.  Look, mistakes happen, 100%–I can forgive that and I understand it, but we need to be accountable at some point.  The challenge of the event taught me how to handle this type of crisis.  But it has changed my view of leadership and how I lead in particular.  I share this story as it applies to actual leadership but it applies to anything we do in our lives.  Parenting, friendships, budgeting.  The point is that we can learn through experience, but we become who we are meant to be by undergoing the steps it takes to learn that lesson.  I’ve also learned that we can’t always make a decision in the moment, no matter how challenging, but we need to rely on our instincts and there is a time to push back on those who have no experience in the matter regardless of their position.  Confidence is change—and that too is part of the process.  Allow it to happen and see what unfolds.