Joe Dispenza asks the question about what controls our lives.  He says that “The brain reflects what we know, it’s a record/construct of the past.  So does thinking control our environment, or does our environment control our thinking?”  Doing what we know every day does not change our brain.  So in order to release the engrained habits and fears, we need to start acting differently.  We need to do different things, express ourselves in new ways.  Find what brings us joy and do more of that.  Our personal reality creates our personality.  I recently started going on a cleaning binge.  Like full on wanting to get rid of everything.  Being absolutely done with all the stuff that didn’t belong anymore.  My husband made a comment about me needing things to be perfect.  My heart dropped and I had a moment of reflecting on that whole do I need him to understand me or do I need to understand myself…I realized that I still needed to do what was best for me.  But just because he doesn’t understand me, it doesn’t mean he can prevent me from doing what I need to do.  See, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress.  And I need progress in my life now.  My environment isn’t conducive to progress and if this is what I’m seeing, then that’s the same state of my brain.

We need to set ourselves up for success—not perfection.  Progress, not perfection.  That means we need to be aware of what’s around us and who.  If we are messy outside chances are we are messy inside.  WE just need to make sure we are ready to deal with the consequences. We need to remember that we aren’t responsible for their growth, we are responsible for our own.  People can grow together, that’s true.  But we aren’t responsible for making them grow, or feeding them off of our own supply.  People don’t get to reap the benefits of our work if they aren’t there to support us along the way.  Aside from that, we need to learn how to recognize the signs for when we need to grow.  Simply it’s this: if we feel suffocated in any way, if we feel we are unable to do anything else where we are, if we feel like there is something more somewhere else—those are all signs we need to grow.  They are all signs that our environment needs some evaluating and shaping, maybe some direction and nurturing.

I know people are afraid of growth.  Well, those closest to them are afraid of it as well because they subconsciously worry if there is room for them in growth—for as we grow, the circle shrinks.  When people are used to chaos, they tend to get a bit squirrely when they see the broom coming.  I’ve been a pretty firm believer that nature determines most of our characteristics and idiosyncrasies, but I’ve also know how environment effects that as well.  IF we don’t have room to grow, we simply cannot grow.  If we need light and we are kept in the dark we won’t grow.  If we need nurturing and we aren’t cared for as we need to be we won’t grow.  We just have to be aware and careful that we aren’t making the mistake of asking someone to care for us who can’t care for themselves.  It isn’t anything personal, these people just don’t have the skills to offer that kind of support.  They may want to, they may be afraid to, but chances are they literally don’t know how.  They haven’t learned it.  IF they weren’t given space to learn and care for themselves, they can’t offer that to someone.  So, when it comes to cleaning our environment, we need to be careful with these people, and choose carefully whether or not we keep them in our lives.  Chaos gravitates toward chaos so be clear what the goal is.