Color we crazy did a reading from Tich Naht Hahn’s How to Fight. Hahn says, “Many conflicts and fights come about because we are so sure of our thoughts and perceptions.  We should not be too sure of our own ideas.  Do not be fooled by our perceptions.  Even if we are sure we are seeing clearly, check again. Keep an open mind, be ready to let go of our views.  The same applies to how we see each other in the world.  Have we understood the situation clearly?  We have a responsibility to see the situation accurately. Not colored by the lens of fear or the discriminating mind.  Clear, unbiased observation and loving speech can contribute greatly to building connection and removing anger, hatred, and discrimination.”  So many of the issues we have in this world stem from the idea that there is only one or two ways to do things: 1. The way they’ve always been done 2. Our own way (meaning my way or the highway).  It becomes a game of who is right rather than what is right—but who makes the determination on what is right to begin with?  Is the frog wrong for eating the fly?  The fly is simply doing what it does, does it need to die?  And the frog too does what it does—it needs to eat to survive.  Where would these instincts come from if they weren’t right?  So are we wrong for defending what we know?   

Beyond the idea of being right or wrong, we need to ask further: Is our perception always right?  Our thoughts and beliefs color our responses to others behavior so the short version is, No. Did we see what we thought we saw?  Is it possible we didn’t see what we think we saw?  There is a critical difference between fact and what we tell ourselves happened.  We are instinctual beings trained to ignore instinct and we operate in survival mode—but survival means something so different these days.  It’s about survival of the ego.  So when we fight, we aren’t fighting for anything beyond the SELF.  When we learn to fight for something and with someone rather than against someone, that fight changes to something else.  We have to let go of the self in order to fight for what is right. So much more often than we think, we are able to reach a resolution—we just have to be willing to look beyond what we know.  Accept that multiple things can be right at the same time. Let go.  Let GO of those perceptions and start thinking critically about what we can shift in ourselves to make it easier, not only for us, but for everyone. 

Fighting is a waste of time in the grand scheme of things.  I’m sure on some cosmic level, there is a goal, an endgame so to speak, but until we know what that is we are left to work with what we know and what we allow ourselves to learn.  We are here to expand and when we learn to look into other ways of thinking and believing, we certainly can feel discomfort.  Growth isn’t comfortable—and learning to negotiate the matters of truth and what we think the truth is only makes it harder to let go of what we know if we are stuck in ego.  Openness and objectivity is the key.  Look at the situation and don’t take it personally.  So much of what we internalize and take personally has nothing to do with us.  We simply need to be who we are and allow others to do the same.  Creating space for everyone is something we can all do.  Creating space and allowing room for interpretation and time to come to a conclusion makes it easier at the end of the day.  So. If we no longer want to fight, we have to manage our perceptions.  Take the time to ask what lenses we have on before any interaction.  Pause.  Then begin where we intend to come from.