Today I am grateful for reminders to do things for others.  I try my hardest to help people as much as I can.  I know I can do more, more specifically if I spent time doing more of what I am meant to do to help people, more people would be impacted.  In the mean time most of my days are spent in “the grind” and doing what I was told to do.  So we recently had my son’s birthday party (late due to time constraints, illness, etc.) and we had a bunch of people over.  While setting up, I could see the excitement and anticipation in my son’s face.  He hasn’t had a proper birthday party since he was 3—again, illness and timing make it difficult—but this year I decided no matter what we were going to do something to celebrate him.  Some of his friends brought over a gigantic inflatable slide and I had nerves the entire time they set it up.  As soon as I saw how much fun those kids were having, I completely relaxed.  My son had a blast and that energy solidified for me that it’s ok to let go and allow, especially in the context of kids being kids.  Especially in the context of providing for friends.  Especially in the context of loving people and allowing them to be who they are.  Sometimes that’s the greatest gift we can give people. It doesn’t take much effort and it makes them feel really good—and that’s a gift.

Today I am grateful for reminders to really listen and take the time to get to know people.  It’s said we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.  Sometimes I have hard time with that because 1. ADD—if I don’t get it out I will forget what I had to say.  2. I have gotten tired of being talked over and ignored.  3. I get nervous and don’t know how to handle silence or break the habit of proving myself to others/controlling the situation.  But there is no denying that when we take the time to hear people, we learn things.  Sometimes about specific subjects but more often about the person.  That’s how connections are made—and we are creatures who need to connect.  People need to be heard and we never know how much they know or how valuable their story can be until we really take the time to hear them.  We also learn how we can help others and where we fit in when we hear people.  On top of that, people are REALLY interesting when you hear them—and they may surprise you.  We can always learn something. 

Today I am grateful to see where people come from.  We had a lot of fun at my son’s party talking about how our relationships began—we’ve all been with our respective partners for over 10 years in most cases so it was fun to look back and see how those relationships began as well as what we were like as individuals when we were younger.  Hearing these stories put so much in perspective about how we are now as well as how our kids are these little reflections of us.  It also brought new light to how we can support each other and seeing “the other” side of people—the real side of what makes them tick, what they enjoy.  All of the idiosyncrasies that bring us together when we thought we were the only ones who felt or did certain things.  There is so much love in that shared story.   It isn’t always easy to form friendships as adults so I am grateful for the opportunity to connect with people.

Today I am grateful to share my ideas.  This stems directly from connecting with people and sharing stories.  I’ve been tossing an idea around for a few months now about the group of moms that all hang out because our kids are in class/have similar interests and activities.  There is a small group of us that really get along and we deal with very similar stressors in our lives and there is a specific level of support that comes from people sharing the same issues.  When you have to work together to bring a different perspective to find a solution, it bonds you in a different way.  Yes, the relationship started because our kids are friends and we connected with each other, but the more we spoke and the conversation expanded, the more we saw we have in common and that included the need for support on things that certain people just don’t understand.  I finally shared my idea with most of the group and it was well received.  So this is something I plan on implementing as soon as I finish getting my house in order.  I’m excited for what that will bring.

Today I am grateful for actively standing my ground.  I found out there was a request pertaining to one of my departments that was done behind my back.  I took a moment to seethe about it because my ego reacted, but then I took the time to approach one of the individuals involved and ask about it.     Conversations like that aren’t always easy but I kept my cool and explained to this individual that I was telling myself a story that didn’t feel good and I wanted to know what was going on.  I could see she was nervous when I asked her the question but the conversation went well—and I felt better.  I still don’t have all the answers because I haven’t spoken with all parties involved, but it helped.  With some reflection, I know I need to ask myself why I feel the need to prove I know my stuff in this regard and why it matters, especially if I know I’m heading in a different direction.  I think it’s ego, but it’s also the insinuation that I don’t know enough to help about my own system which has a greater implication on my professional life.  If I’m going to be an authority anywhere, then I don’t want people putting out the idea that I don’t know my stuff.  But standing up for myself was a good start and I’m proud to have a challenging conversation.

Today I am grateful for loving myself.  There are still days I don’t understand the level of anger/frustration/loathing I had (and sometimes still have) for myself.  I don’t know where this level of perfectionism came from and the idea that if I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t worth it.  My parents supported me best when I succeeded, but they never put overt pressure on me to do so.  I took that praise on an subconscious level and thought that was the way to get attention.  There are ways to take care of ourselves and hear ourselves out that remind us of wo we are, but like hearing others, we can offer ourselves the same gift and really listen to what our heart and soul tells us.  We just need to take the time to listen.  When we listen and bring our best to the table, and encourage everyone around us to bring their best, we all win.  A boundary is respecting ourselves enough to walk away from a table that serves poison, or keeping people at a distance who would bring something negative to the conversation.  It’s knowing and constantly reminding that we are good as we are, we bring something relevant as we are and accepting it.  I’m grateful to see how I underestimated myself and didn’t explore my talent enough by lack of focus and I’m grateful to see where I need to focus those talents now and share them.  To create my own authority and to be a resource to people.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.