Today I am grateful for love.  My husband and I have been together over 22 years at this point. We’ve been through every up and down imaginable and we have made it together.  We’ve had friendships come and go, we’ve gotten incredibly close to people only to find out they weren’t who they said they were or that we simply weren’t on the same page.  Over the last couple of years, we are fortunate to have found what seems to be the right groove/group for us.  There is so much to be said for the safety that comes with having a core group of people around you that you can rely on and that you can support in return.  There is something to be said for the connection that comes from the rawness of who we are as we are.  Yes, it’s vulnerable and it can feel scary especially when you haven’t had many people you can trust like that, but when it finds you, it is the safest feeling in the world.  No matter what my husband and I have been through together, it’s nice to have outside support as well.  That type of love and care is a rare thing in this world and it isn’t something I take for granted.  Being seen and accepted only helps us all flourish and I am grateful to have people who help us do just that.

Today I am grateful for beauty and magic.  We had dinner with friends last night and it was an amazing experience.  As you can tell from my first section above, there was a ton of love in the air.  But beyond that, the atmosphere itself was pure magic.  Our friend is in love with Christmas—and I mean, in LOVE with Christmas.  The entire house is decked out in some of the most beautiful Christmas decorations I have ever seen.  I counted roughly 18 trees (all differently themed) decorated to the 10’s (totally surpassed the 9’s 😊), the garland, the lights, the nutcrackers, the entire ambiance was complete magic.  The time, effort, and care that went into preparing that house is unmatched—the joy and love of it was palpable.  It was literally breathtaking and an amazing reminder of the magic humans can create when they do what they love.  It was a privilege to witness it in person and a wonderful way to start the holiday festivities—good food, good friends, and a beautiful set up.      

Today I am grateful for understanding my faults.  I feel like I’ve received a reality check this week.  I spent so much time berating myself for things I’ve done in the past that I haven’t addressed where I’m at now.  I have this idea of who I want to be and what I want to do but I don’t take action because there is clearly something in me that refuses to let go of the past.  I continually tell myself this story of how unworthy I am and how I have to prove myself or that I can’t do things because I’ve been held back by others.  There is truth to that story (a lot of truth unfortunately) but it isn’t what’s happening now.  I’ve been so stuck in protecting an image that I haven’t addressed what I can do now.  I’ve often wrestled with ego because I have this weird relationship with myself where I’m simultaneously ashamed of who I am and demand love/attention/respect.  I’ve been reminded beautifully that in those moments, I have to direct my attention to someone else.  This isn’t to say I’m a narcissist or that I never pay attention to others, but my emotions and needs aren’t always at the forefront.  I have to trust that my needs will be met as well and that if I have the ability to help others, that needs to be the focus. Putting aside ego is a beautiful thing.  It strips away any “should” we have in relation to what we think it should be and forces us to address the moment.

Today I am grateful for personal responsibility and accountability.  With the exercises of putting aside ego, I’ve learned that personal responsibility and accountability are actionable things—and this is where real power lies.  Not that I didn’t know that and not that I haven’t spoken of it before, but the truth is it’s a vibrational thing with our actions.  That’s what needs to be put into practice.  We can say we have decided to do something but if we don’t do it, it won’t get done.  We can say we are a certain type of person but if we simply repeat patterns, we will get what we always got. We don’t need power over people, we don’t need people to see us or treat us a certain way to achieve our goals—we simply need to decide and be the person we decide to be.  Alignment is matching the action to the vibration.  We are creatures of habit and it can be difficult to put aside some of those habits, but it’s necessary if we are going to be something else.  That power is ours.

Today I am grateful for the pivot.  Maybe this is more about being grateful for things clicking in my mind.  I have been terrified to take big steps toward my goals because I know (or at least I think I know) it will mean a time of scrambling and trying to float until we get to the other side.  In my mind that looks like a time where we will be waiting for the security of what we know now to come through from a different source.  Having faith means being decisive and taking the leap regardless of what it looks like.  That behavior is how we get stuck between two places—what we know (familiar/routine) and what we want (purpose/fulfillment).  The only way to get what we want is to become the person who does those things.  We have to do what the person we want to become would do—not what we know.  We have to be ready to let go of what we know if we are going to move forward.  We can show our gratitude for that person getting us where we are today and then we can lovingly leave that version behind us.  We can’t carry all of that with us, we can only take the lesson.  When we pivot our thoughts/decisions, we pivot our entire life.   

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.