Today I am grateful for knowing the truth.  2023 has been a beautiful year filled with love, laughter, new connections, clarity.  Toward the end I know I got derailed because my focus wasn’t very clear and I know now the level of clarity required to move forward.  Specific idea followed with specific vision and steps to get where I need to be.  We have to be honest about who we are, what we can handle, what we want, and what we are willing to do to get it.  The truth is simply this: it’s all in our hands.  No matter what happens, no matter the distractions, the result is always up to us. It isn’t a matter of pointing fingers and feeling bad that we didn’t accomplish something or that we got derailed, it’s acknowledging that we are accountable for our lives.  We are responsible for everything that comes into our lives.  We always have the choice of what we focus on. 

I’m grateful to let go of ego and control.  I’ve been so focused on the goal that I had, the vision I had in my mind thinking that I was honoring and fulfilling my purpose but not understanding why it wasn’t happening.  Not understanding that my vision wasn’t exactly what the universe had in mind for me.  I put my feelers out there, I made my intentions known, I found my purpose, that is all true.  But the path there isn’t the same as I thought because it required me to give up everything I knew.  I would make bold statements about not wanting to be a certain way or not following a certain person’s expectations, but then I’d fall right back in line and do it because I’d get scared.  That fear was ego, thinking that they wouldn’t like me or I’d get in trouble and ruin everything. Instead I should have trusted that I would be able to fly when I set those boundaries and walked away.  it isn’t ego to honor the truth of who we are.  It’s ego to give up who we are because we think we will get something better out of it. 

I’m grateful to set authentic goals this year.  I’ve been through a series of setting goals year after year only to have poor execution or to get distracted and not follow through.  My goals this year: a reminder that a hiccup isn’t a failure.  A bump isn’t a failure.  Even if something doesn’t work out how I wanted it to, that’s still not a failure, it’s a chance to pivot.  The point is to keep going and, more importantly than that, to get clear on where we are going.  Setting a vague goal doesn’t provide the benchmark so we know what we’ve achieved.  Setting specific aligned goals lets me know what’s next, the steps to take, and shows me when I’ve gotten where I wanted to be.

Today I am grateful for new goals and a new approach.  Part of why I’ve failed before (or not met goals) was because I tried to do all the things at once.  I tried to eat the entire whale so to speak—without even realizing that I don’t like whale.  It’s ok to do things one at a time as long as they are honest and as long as completing them creates a result aligned with who I am.  My timing doesn’t matter—my timing is another facet of ego.  As long as I’m doing what I’m meant to do, what brings me joy, things I can share with those I love, that’s what matters.  Doing what I love, what we all love is how we know we are successful.  Do what we love and we will never work a day in our lives.     

Today I am grateful to release.  Yes, it may seem cliché to discuss letting go and embracing the new on New Year’s Day, but the truth is this is a symbolic day and it is effective as long as we follow through on it.  I spent a lot if time in nostalgia this year, specifically at the end of the year.  Things didn’t turn out as far as spending time with family because everyone got sick.  But I found myself ready to let go and clean up and put the holiday away this year.  I saw that within the traditions of what I was trying to hold onto, while beautiful, there were things that needed to be healed.  There is so much to be grateful for in the present that we don’t need to spend time rehashing and reliving the past.  We can be grateful and accept it and keep moving forward.  There are new traditions to make, new life to live, new friends to celebrate. New goals to go after.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead and a fantastic start to the New Year!

I’m reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s book Be Useful.  He says, “Look in the mirror. It’s uncomfortable to look ourselves in the eye because the person in the mirror is often a stranger who looks nothing like the person we see when we close our eyes and picture the person we want to be.”  That hit hard.  I have this vision of myself doing the things I love and supporting myself and family, healthy, in shape, put together, someone who takes really good care of myself.  What I see around me is chaos.  I put a lot of things together (like I really started getting my shit together) and was going strong and then I let myself get distracted.  I lost clarity.  I realized that I wasn’t clear to begin with.  Arnold also talks about clear vision and he stats that most people either start specific and create the steps or we start broad and then take steps that get clearer and more specific.  My vision was extremely broad and covered a lot of things that would seem unrelated.  I knew they fit together but I was never sure how.  I can say now that as I continue to walk forward, I do see it clearer, but I let myself get distracted.

When I read that line I realized instantly that it was something that applied to me.  In the beginning of my journey, I wanted to simply exert my power/control over myself and prove that I knew what I was doing with my life.  I wanted to prove that I knew best for myself.  I know now that was all part of proving my worth.  I realized that I skipped some steps in the middle like actually learning about myself, what I liked, what I was good at, and basic things like APPLYING the lessons I was so good at absorbing and regurgitating—absorbing and regurgitating but not doing.  Understanding that we are allowed to form our own goals and dreams made a huge difference in my life because I was under the impression that I needed to do what my parents did—it worked for them, it made them happy to see me that way.  When I started to feel like I needed something different there was a split—I couldn’t differentiate my goals from theirs.  I felt the need for something else but felt like I would disappoint them if I didn’t do it their way. But that version didn’t line up with what I felt inside. I eventually went the other way with that and went through a phase where I was pretty narcissistic and made it all about me so that was another kind of guilt.  But it was all a projection—there was no real action. 

Plans without substance or action to back them up are simply words/thoughts/dreams.  We need to make sure we have the foundation beneath us and the action to support it.  Schwarzenegger also talks about how we can paralyze ourselves when the plan is too big—and I realized that was actually part of my problem.  My grand plan had so many facets to it that I couldn’t do enough to make progress in any particular direction.  I felt like it all needed to be done so I ended up doing nothing.  But the cure for that is to slow down and do one thing to completion.  Schwarzenegger talks about the drive and energy he has—and not everyone has that—but we all have the ability to get specific and take action.  We have the ability to match our dreams with our actions and to align who we are with who we want to be.  Even if it is a really small step, that feels better than pretending we are something we aren’t, or saying we are something we aren’t.  It’s aligning—and remember, the best gift you can give the world is to be your authentic self.  Take the time to find who that is and do what it takes to be that version.   

A few weeks ago I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about how we have friends at different stages and different purposes in our lives.  Right now a lot of my friends are my son’s parents and we have a common experience with our kids being in school together.  It’s been such a beautiful thing to have our relationships develop alongside our kids.  But we need something more than that.  We need the friend we can be real with.  In both circumstances we are relating on common ground, but we need someone who understands who we are.  We need the friend who just shows up or who we can just show up to their place.  We don’t even necessarily need to talk or do anything, we just need the company and the support.  My husband and I were reminded of that the other night.  The week was a bit rough and I think we all knew we needed a break.  Our friends invited us over.  Normally we do something like play a game or have a few cocktails, but instead we ordered some pizza, sat on the couch, and watched some movies.  My son cuddled with me and we all ended up pretty much dozing on the couch together.  Nothing really needed to be said, we just needed to unwind.

I haven’t felt that level of trust in a long time. It may sound silly but it’s true—I often feel like I have to wear a mask around people or keep up a façade—I know I certainly do it until I know someone or until I know how they will react to certain things about me.  There are still certain things that I don’t share with specific groups of people because I either can’t tell how they really feel or because I know it wouldn’t go well.   While we were with our friends the other night, being vulnerable, not necessarily sharing anything other than what actually happened, it felt like I was letting my guard down and it felt amazing.  It was simply nice to have a night to recover and not put on airs.  So the truth is the value comes in the full acceptance of who we are and our ability to be comfortable wholly in that state.  In my lifetime I’ve experienced some not so pleasant things in my family and I’ve done some not so pleasant things myself, so I have learned two things: I have a high tolerance for what I accept from other people and I have a low tolerance for myself.  Plus I was fairly well trained to keep it all inside anyway.  But we need more than that.

This entire piece is about nothing more than connection and acceptance.  As humans, that’s what we need more than anything in this world next to sustenance, water, and shelter/clothing.  Finding those types of people is a remarkable gift because we get the connection we need but we also learn to accept parts of ourselves.  Most of the time we are taught to hate ourselves and that we always need to be something else so it’s an incredible feeling to shift into taking care of self, accepting self, and knowing that who we are at our core is ok.  We are all fundamentally ok, we just go through various stages of our reality getting twisted.  Sometimes we need some help bringing that reality back to the truth.  As cliché as it sounds, the truth is we are all inherently worthy as we are, we all have value as we are, and we all have gifts/messages/purpose that needs to be shared with the world.  Sometimes it takes a night of simply sitting with friends exactly as we are, where we are in that moment.  THAT is something to be grateful for.       

The best gift you can give the world is to be yourself—fully yourself.  People will like you or dislike you no matter what you do so align with your authentic truth and do what makes you happy.  If you don’t make a stand in who you are, you will fall for anything—and no one can stand for you if you are for everyone.  Now, that isn’t to say that you need to isolate people who don’t agree with you, rather it is to say that we can love everyone and let them be while still being who we are.  Anyone who likes the version you pretend to be but doesn’t like you’re authentic self isn’t meant to be in your life.  Let them go.  We are trained to think we need to fit in and be like everyone else and end up losing the understanding that our uniqueness is necessary in this world—it is actually needed.  We don’t need more copies.  A few weeks ago I talked about Gary Brecka’s work on authenticity, specifically his understanding/interpretation of the SPANE study.  Authenticity is the most powerful frequency emitted by the body.  Why would we need to be anything other than ourselves?  Who we are as individuals truly is a gift.

The world will judge no matter what.  The important part is that we know who we are.  One thing for sure is that I personally didn’t understand how much work and how much time it takes to get to know ourselves.  The impressionability we have as children is remarkable.  If there was a way to transmute all of the knowledge of the world in childhood, knowing there is no limit, then we would never waste a single moment being something we are not.  We are trained to think unique is shameful or something that we need to hide.  By the time we figure out that we need to share it and stand out a bit, it becomes so uncomfortable that it takes real effort to step outside of our comfort zone.  If we learn to be comfortable it shifts how we operate.  I’ve learned recently, especially with how this past year has moved, that time moves unbelievably fast.  We have to make the decision to do what works for us regardless of what others think—we have to go with what we know.   

No need to be perfect, just need to have perfect faith.  There was no coincidence in those signs I spoke about yesterday.  There was absolutely a reason why the universe confirmed my thoughts and assuaged my fears.  It’s because I was exactly where I needed to be when those signs came and I needed to let go of fear and trust.  That’s how we move forward.  We need to trust the signs, our instincts, enough to move from what we know and into what we are meant to do.  We will never know all the answers but we need to know that we are capable of whatever comes our way.  That’s all faith is.  It isn’t seeing the other side or seeing the entire path.  Rather, it’s seeing where we need to go and filling in the gaps along the way until the way is clear.  That vision, the result we are looking for should be sharp in focus, but how we get there isn’t always clear.  Ther are lessons we may need to learn that we have no clue about until we start the journey, and it’s only through the journey that we learn them. 

The goal can’t be perfection because we have no idea what we are perfecting until we take the steps to get there.  I’ve spent a lot of time curating a life that I thought other people wanted to see.  I was an absolute wreck even though on the outside it looked like I had things together.  It was a life that other people wanted, it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.  I filled my home with other people’s things, grateful to have them, but I never took the time to curate my own style.  I felt guilty every time I brought something in that was mine alone. I’ve learned that guilt is a huge sign to the universe that we aren’t ready for what we say we want, especially if it is the very thing we want.  We have to be willing to accept it and that means accepting it as it is when we get it—and knowing that when we get it is the exact right time for it.   

It’s about trusting that we are always at the right place at the right time.  There has been a lot that was thrown off schedule this year and it scared me a bit because going into the new year, I like to think that I have a plan that all will turn out—and for me that means that it goes according to that plan.  So when things are already off course, it seems like it may not go that way.  Instead, it’s an opportunity to realize that even though it looks different, it is still exactly how it needs to be.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be what it is.  Our job isn’t to seek perfection like I said, it’s to go with it and have faith that all is well.  Knowing it’s exactly how it needs to be and that we are equipped to handle anything that comes our way.  It isn’t easy, but when we have faith we know that whatever comes our way is meant to be.     

A little witch craft and a reminder—yesterday we were talking about faith and it may seem sacrilege to compare witchcraft to faith, but the truth is the connection to mind/body/sprit/earth is the most profound example of having faith I can think of.  It demonstrates the connection we have to source and to ourselves.  I had a few moments over the last few weeks that really highlighted that for me.  I was having a rough day at work and I really needed to get out of there.  Full transparency, I started thinking of an excuse like a teenager to leave.  I told myself I could say that CJ hit his head at school.  I immediately told myself, “No, that’s bad karma and I don’t want to put that out in the world.”  Within the hour, I legitimately got an email from his teacher that he had bumped his head at school.  I mentioned the incident with the book from Dave Grohl.  I have honestly wanted that book for a while and when I saw it for less than $14 and in paperback, I really wanted it.  With it being the holidays I hesitated because there were other things I needed to get as well.  Something still told me to put it in the cart so I did.  When I got in the car and started scrolling (something I do when anxious), I saw the meme about Dave Grohl’s cat.  That couldn’t have been coincidence—that was confirmation.

I knew in that instant that it was time to stop screwing around, make a decision, get a clear vision, and to stop being afraid of connecting with the instincts that were clearly showing through.  It’s ok to be a little witchy and connect with what makes sense for me even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.  It’s ok to have the belief and certainty in ourselves that we can make the things we want happen as long as they are in the natural order.  Our connection is demonstrated in the most random of ways sometimes, and when that happens, we need to be grateful and trust that we are following the right path.  Knowing we are in the right place at the right time.  Following our instincts.  It’s hard in a world filled with distraction, endless to do lists, goals that aren’t fully ours but demonstrate status/success, insecurity, fear, and a myriad of other things that keep the goal out of focus.  All of those things piled together keep us as far from our instincts as possible.  But we need to know what we are doing and trust what we are doing.  Connecting with self is the most important thing we can do.  That’s the surest way to connect with the universe and spirit—through knowing ourselves.  Having faith in itself is a little witchy—trusting what we can’t see.  There is an endless source of magic in the world and we are part of that.  So, trust and believe, trust the signs and follow it.  That’s how the magic unfolds.

This is my favorite holiday.  I love the pomp and circumstance of this day, the decorating, the chaos of family together, the food—I’m pretty sure I talked about that last year as well. Things have changed over the years as time tends to make happen.  Certain traditions I’ve tried to hold on to while incorporating new traditions, new family.  But at its foundation, Christmas is about faith and certainty in spite of the pagan traditions we love.  It’s about knowing that we have to follow our path as crazy as it seems.  No matter whether it makes sense to us or others, we know it’s something we have to do.  Taking that leap when it doesn’t make sense is the greatest demonstration of faith to ourselves and others.  Part of finding ourselves is learning to have faith—learning to let go of what needs releasing and following our path because it makes sense to us.  We find that faith by taking the leap and we create certainty and confidence in who we are.  We know what works for us and what doesn’t, and with faith, we learn to follow what feels right and what we know will work for us.  This includes our environment. 

It’s so important to create an environment that represents us and that feels right to us, something that supports our growth.  That includes the people we surround ourselves with.  We need to make space for those who support and encourage us and who we can reciprocate with.  The spirit of Christmas is about love, support, and family but the reminder here is that our family is what we make it. We know who we need around us or at least we know what feels right, who encourage the best in us.  The holidays can be difficult for those who don’t have a group like that or whose family isn’t behind them.  Even for those who have a supportive family, they can feel the pressure of things needing to be perfect.  Family is meant to be a system.  Above all, it’s about love and support because this time of year is a reminder to connect.  We need to know how to connect with ourselves and love ourselves and to connect with spirit for guidance and connect with loved ones for support.  It’s about finding those who can use our help and finding help if we can use it ourselves.  Believing in ourselves and our abilities makes our connection that much stronger.

This Christmas is a bit different because we aren’t all together today due to illness so it’s a little disappointing but that doesn’t change that I am so grateful for what we do get to celebrate today.  Today is a quiet day for us to celebrate our love and joy and to reconnect as our little nuclear family.  No, it isn’t the big show—we will do that in a few weeks when we are all healthy.  But I have faith that this is all for a reason.  We are meant to slow down and make this about us today.  It’s supposed to be about love and peace and finding a new way forward together.  What a gift.  There really isn’t a better gift and I appreciate that we’ve had to take some time to find different ways to express that with each other because we aren’t physically together.  The universe moves at its own pace and sometimes we have to trust that it’s all for a reason.  No, it isn’t the same, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  It’s just a different focus this year.  Above all, the message and the meaning of today hasn’t changed.  We are still connecting and believing and learning to follow our path.  The spirit is still here no matter what it looks like.

Today I am grateful for my family.  There are a million things that family is. The people who love us, the people who support us.  The people who drive us crazy.  The people who know all of our fears.  The people we want to make proud.  The people we share everything with—or hide things from.  I am grateful to have a system of people who I can rely on.  I struggled to feel like I belonged with anyone, friend or family, for a really long time.  I felt like I was on the outside and needed to prove my way in.  Family doesn’t work like that.  Family is the support we are born into and the support we create.  My husband and son drive me insane at times but I wouldn’t choose anyone else in my corner.  No, it isn’t all sunshine and daisies, but the love is always there.  It’s hard to prioritize family at times because we have so many conflicting responsibilities, but I don’t regret choosing their needs over some perceived responsibility elsewhere.  I am grateful to learn how to be that support for them as well.  I am fiercely protective of the ones I love and I am grateful to give back what they need from me.  Time goes quickly and it is so important to prioritize time with the ones we love.   

Today I am grateful for health.  We have been dealing with on and off respiratory crap since September.  I’ve been getting progressively more annoyed with it because it just seems to always be there and there are things that constantly need to be done.  To be fair, I think the annoyance comes from the fact that most of the time, even with the illness, I’ve felt ok enough to get things done but then the energy is just zapped out of me and the list of what needs to be done is growing longer and longer.  It feels like I just can’t keep up.  But I know that overall we are ok.  I know that moving to the end of the year my health is something I need to focus on even more than I have.  It isn’t something I want to dabble in anymore, I want to take things to the next level and protect my mind and body.  I want to share that with others as well.  It’s a huge shift in priorities for me and something I need to follow through on—also something that I need to have more clarity around.  Health in general is good and I’ve mastered that.  But in order to feel like I’ve taken care of myself and set myself up for long term health, I need to change some priorities and figure out how to create a plan for myself that puts health first—physical and mental. Give up old comfort habits and step into what’s good for me, allow that to be my norm. 

Today I am grateful for following my own lead.  I’ve been scared to follow through on some things I know will move me forward.  They will change how I operate in life and I’m not sure I’m ready for that consistently.  At the same time, I know that I can’t allow myself to continue to wander from thing to thing, throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.  I’m the only one who can decide what my future looks like, who knows what I enjoy, who knows what I want to share with the world.  I can’t make statements like I want to be a certain way or do a certain thing and then do what other people tell me to or decide on what makes other people happy.  I can’t let other people’s opinions of me dictate what I do with my time.  I’ve shared here so many times about how we are the ones who are in control of our lives and that is something I need to consistently remember. 

Today I am grateful for opportunity.  There are opportunities that fall in our laps and opportunities we create.  When we know something isn’t working we need to make the choice of looking for a different opportunity or learning to cope with how things are.  I’ve recently decided to start looking at some other opportunities that would ease up some of the daily stressors I face, namely giving me more time in my day.  It’s a bit disappointing because I haven’t seen much movement on it yet, but in my heart I know that it’s the right thing to do.  I know that the focus needs to shift and I need to do something to alleviate this pressure I feel now.  I can’t say that I’m not grateful for what I’ve learned where I am, I can’t say that I don’t appreciate what has already been afforded to me.  But I know that what I’ve given up is something I can no longer sacrifice.  I know I need to be clear about what the next steps are, but understanding opportunity and not being afraid to go for it have been the first steps for me and I am grateful for it. 

Today I am grateful for planning, deciding, and cooperation—deciding the direction and making a plan to get there.  My business partners have been participating in a 21 day challenge, one that I was supposed to do as well but I completely chickened out—I still have to work on that whole accountability thing.  But I’ve seen the results they’ve had and the support they offer each other and I’ve realized that I need to get better at clarity and planning.  Making a decision is not as complicated as I’ve made it.  It’s the process that I’ve repeatedly shared here over the years.  Lean into what feels good and decide what direction to go in and then work on closing the gap to get here.  It’s that accountability thing again.  I spent so much time doing what I was told as a kid that I’m kind of averse to doing what others tell me but I’ve also got this people pleaser mentality where I want to do what they tell me.  Planning and deciding what needs to be done is a major step in the right direction, though. 

Today I am grateful for releasing the fear of other’s opinions.  My son woke up in tears the other day with an earache and it just so happened to be the Friday before the holiday—we’ve been sick right before the holidays for some time now.  My initial thought was that my boss would never believe that we were sick again so I brought him to my parents with the plan of calling the doctor to get his medicine called in over the phone because we’ve seen this with him many times before.  They needed to see him so the day turned into chaos with settling things at work and then finding out how to get him to the office and get his prescription.  Meanwhile my boss was emailing about something she considered an issue and I was trying to be both the mother and the diligent employee.  My frustration peaked because my son ended up back in my office with me in so much pain when we simply should have gone home.  I had told myself that I wouldn’t allow her to create a fire before a holiday again simply because she wasn’t in the office and here I was feeding into it.  I need to stand firm and do what is right for me—it doesn’t matter if she believes me or if she thinks of me one way or the other, I know what my family needs, I know what I need.  Letting go of that fear is what will allow me to stand confidently in who I am.   

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead. 

Distance is the only answer to disrespect.  This is a concept I wasn’t familiar with for most of my life. I’ve been trained to people please and that means giving a lot of chances to people who probably don’t deserve them.  It means prioritizing other people’s opinions and wants over my needs.  It means doing anything to get their attention so I don’t feel lonely.  It means doing more when the situation really required doing less—or walking away all together.  In the moment it’s hard to recognize that because the thought of being alone can be crippling so we do whatever it takes to keep that person near.  As time has gone on, I’ve learned that our job isn’t to make these people happy—it’s to make ourselves happy.  To honor our goals and make sure we are secure and taken care of in ourselves.  No one will do that for us.  This isn’t to say that I don’t fall into old habits, especially with old hierarchies in place—but I’m more aware of it now and I’m quicker to get out of it, even if I still have residual guilt over it.

The truth is it’s about boundaries, self-respect, and faith.  It’s necessary to set boundaries in line with who we are.  Of course there are always exceptions where we have to go out of our comfort zone for people but the general idea is that behavior isn’t a rule and it should be based on that person’s need, not making them like us.  Boundaries let people know what’s in our realm of capacity and asserts what their responsibility is.  Self-respect is about maintaining boundaries but it’s also about knowing we don’t need to be liked by everyone.  For those who cross the boundaries repeatedly, we need to make it clear that we aren’t there for their purposes.  We have needs to meet in line with who we are, we aren’t seeking the other person’s approval.  I say this is also about faith because we have to know that we are always supported so even if we have to walk away from people, we are never truly alone.  We need faith that we are doing the right thing and it will all turn out.

When our boundaries are crossed on the regular and we do nothing about it, we lose that respect because we falsely say we have the boundary—and the other person can see we do not.  We need to know that our needs are worth more than anyone else’s want and that we are not responsible for meeting that person’s desires if that behavior isn’t reciprocated.  It doesn’t have to be a grand show of leaving a person or putting our foot down—but we need to put the foot down firmly and then follow through if the behavior continues.  We have to be prepared to walk away in order to preserve our energy and our sanity.  We have to walk away because we know our worth.  Sometimes we make it down the driveway and the person sees what they need to fix—other times we just keep going.  Either scenario is ok as long as our peace and integrity are maintained.  It’s ok to do what it takes to maintain that peace and integrity.  The more we set the boundary, the more we know ourselves.  Don’t be afraid to make someone uncomfortable or unhappy because we think it will anger them—that’s all the more reason to do it.  Stand firmly and confidently in who we are and allow the chips to fall where they may—just make sure to follow through. 

I heard something the other day that stopped me in my tracks: Your goal is to become the person that is willing to do what it takes to achieve all of your goals.  All this time I’d been considering my goal as achieving a specific thing.  Look at the target and do what it takes to get there.  But when we look at the concept of flow, we need to consider that it may be the wrong way to go about it.  Rather than focusing on the task by itself, we should consider the all around purpose of the goal and what that life looks like when the goal is achieved.  Now, this isn’t for everything—if your goal is to purchase a book, then get to the bookstore or purchase it online.  But for the goals that seem out of reach, out of our realm, we need to look at who we are.  Are we repeating old patterns that keep us from the goal?  Doing what we always did because it’s familiar?  Or are we taking the steps to make the different decision?  Are we becoming the person who makes those new decisions as naturally as the old ones? 

We are such a task oriented, see-it-to-believe-it, go-it-alone, accolades and achievement based society that we forget introspection and connection.  We are trained that way.  We are trained to ignore the thoughts and feelings that get us where we want to be, where we are meant to be in favor of what we are told we are supposed to do.  I’m not saying that there is a huge distinction between being goal oriented and being the person who achieves the goal, but I am saying that when we seek to check something off the list, it’s not as satisfying as creating the life we want.  It’s the difference between getting a fish and learning to fish.  Uncovering the root of who we are and who we are meant to be and focusing on those goals.

I started doing a life analysis, considering some of my major goals and what it takes to be that person.  I also went so far as to ask what a person who lives that life looks like, what they would do.  It became pretty evident that there is a gap.  Now, this isn’t too far from what we’ve talked about with goal setting before.  In general it was setting the goal, seeing where we’re at in relation to the goal, then doing what it takes to get there.  But when it comes to being the person who makes those goals naturally, there are a few more intricacies.  We have to be more aware of those initial thoughts and taking the pause between thought and action.  The process is the same, but the focus bears an important difference: being the person who lives the life rather than the person who strives to live the life. It isn’t just about the goal, it’s about being that way consistently.  Then the decisions come naturally and soon we don’t have to think about it—we simply are it.