I’ve been dealing with an illness that kept me home from my 9-5 for the last several days.  I had honestly been feeling fairly well physically for a  few weeks but made a turn and needed to do stronger medication.  Regardless, during the time I still felt well, I was operating as normal because I could.  My body was still telling me that I needed to stop.  I didn’t want to believe it because the symptoms I was having felt different than before.  I was able to keep going.  The truth is I didn’t need to know I needed to stop until I stopped.  I had been simply fatigued, nothing major, but rest wasn’t cutting it.  The first round of meds wasn’t cutting it.  When I stopped doing it all, I moved a bit slower but I still moved.  It felt so good, I realized I spend a lot of my time burning both ends of the candle because I’ve got multiple irons in multiple fires.  I thought I could handle it all—and I did for a long time.  Now it’s becoming ever clearer that the tracks are separating more and more and it’s time to lean in a new direction.  Just because we can do something doesn’t mean it’s best for us and it doesn’t mean we are obligated to sacrifice to achieve it.      

Reclaiming my biggest loss of time from my 9-5 has been life-changing.  When I really broke it down, I would spend no less than 12.5 to 13 hours a day per week involved in work-related activities whether it was getting ready, commuting, or the actual work itself.  That’s 62.5-65 hours a week—roughly 40% of all my time related to work activities.  Sleeping for 6 hours a night accounted for 25% of my total time.  So just between dealing with work and sleeping, we are already at 65% of the week.  I know people can argue that I still have 35% of my time or 63.5 hours.  Shopping for groceries: up to 2 hours a week, meal prep: up to 4 hours a week, homework with my son: 2 hours a week, Karate for my son: 1 hour a week, cleaning/laundry: 5 hours a week, my business and writing: 6 hours a week.  That’s already 20 hours of additional necessity.  The remaining time is supposed to be for selfcare and recovery, family time, friends, and focused time on my son’s play/needs.  Look, I will agree that there is still time available there, but it becomes challenging to use it well with an entire middle of the day taken out.  

Reprioritizing time, honoring the body and operating at its level has allowed me to understand what it’s like to operate at a deep level while still in flow.  How it feels to get work done without extraneous pressure.  What it feels like to lean into what is right for me and be naturally guided to what I need to do.  See, the secret isn’t in how much effort we put in, it’s in how aligned we are with the right effort and intention.  The value of this time off is this: life when lived as it is meant to be is naturally restorative.  We naturally feel the energy we need to function at top level.  We intuitively know what we need for our minds bodies and souls.  During this time, I have been more personally productive than I have been while trying to maintain it all.  I’ve been more receptive not only to my needs but my family’s needs and I’ve been better equipped to take care of what needed to be done.  The rest feels complete and authentic because I’m honoring where I am in the moment.  There is real value in listening to the body.  Even when the mind matches the body and believes we can move forward, there is still a need to pause occasionally and see what we need.