Today I am grateful for the support of friends.  We gathered together to celebrate a friendsgiving and my husband’s 40^th birthday this weekend.  It was wonderful to see people show up and celebrate and have a good time.  It was great to see people connect as well.  My family met some of my friends for the first time and it was great to see them connect.  Some of our friends met other friends for the first time and they got along really well also.  It’s a beautiful thing to see people connect with each other.  I used to get nervous about letting friends connect with friends because I was scared of being left out but it was a nice reminder to see that connection is expansive as well.

Today I am grateful for courage.  There’s a lot of change happening in my life on the professional and personal front.  It has been scary because it’s a reminder how much is out of my control.  It really takes a lot to let go and trust that everything will fall into place especially when it feels like everything is falling apart.  In spite of that type of fear, it has been nice to remember what it means to step up and that no matter what happens, I’m capable.  Even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment, I have always gotten through whatever was thrown my way.  Sometimes we just have to have a little courage to step forward and a little faith that we will be fine on the other side.

Today I am grateful for decisions.  I had two references to decisions this past week and it helped put things in perspective—and to have some courage.  The lives we live are a direct result of the decisions we make.  I made the choice to wait a few things out on the professional front but that has led to a different result than I anticipated.  The situation has taken a turn so to speak, so now a different decision needs to be made.  At first it felt like I was being swept along and carried for someone else’s ride, but sometimes there are things that come out of left field and shift our perception or explain what was actually happening.  That new understanding makes it even easier to make another decision.  The ability to decide puts us firmly in control of what we can control in our lives.  We can always adjust the sails to get where we need to go.

Today I am grateful for time.  As I type this it’s snowing.  I feel like this entire second half of the year has flown by.  We’ve been blessedly busy and surrounded by people and supported.  But that doesn’t change how quickly it seems time has passed.  I’m grateful that the time we have spent together this year has been productive, joyful, fun, and connecting.  I’m grateful to witness the changing of the seasons with as much attentiveness as I have.  I’m grateful to notice the small details in life that keep us moving.  I’m grateful to spend my time with family, friends and loved ones and to experience life together.  Time does indeed move quickly—but we get to choose how we spend it.  I am happy with how we’ve spent our time this year and I’m proud of the decisions we’ve made to move forward. 

Today I am grateful to trust again.  I’ve always wanted to be able to trust people no matter what.  I wanted to feel close enough to someone that I knew they would never betray me and that I had someone to confide in.  I made several wrong choices with people and it burned me and then it took a long time to even find someone that I felt close enough to that I wanted to share with them.  We have been blessed with the gift of finding people who genuinely care and who we connect with.  Sharing things has been challenging but it has also been worth it.  Finding that connection  means the world to me because there are things I didn’t want to carry any longer.  It’s a relief to know that there are people who will help me carry that weight.  Or they will help me put it down.

Today I am grateful for weekend morning chats.  My husband has taken to joining me in my office in the morning on the weekends.  It’s nice to have that little bit of time together before our son wakes up and before we really have to start the day.  It’s been another exercise in connection as we go over whatever is on our minds or planning the day.  We never used to do that, we’d kind of acknowledge each other and then I’d do my work and he would do whatever he needed to do.  Now we get to look each other in the eye and have a conversation.  Intimacy is about more than just physical things—it’s about the emotional and psychological elements of safety and being seen.  I appreciate the time my husband takes to come in my office and share things.  I’ve told him this as well so he knows it’s something productive and supportive to our relationship. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.