Do you want to win, or do you want to fit in?  I heard this question while working the other day and it has shifted something in me.  I’ve reconciled that not everything is about winning—I spent far too much of my life working to win and to be right.  I fought to be right at every single thing I did because I was so insecure about my outer appearance that I thought I had to prove myself intellectually and ALWAYS be the best to prove my worth.  Even then I wasn’t trying to fit in but I was trying to be the best at the same game everyone else was already playing.  The perspective that shifted for me was also this: Fitting in takes us out of the game because it diminishes who we are.  If we are all playing the same game, then we aren’t bringing anything unique to the table.  When we ask ourselves the question about winning versus fitting in, it takes into account two things: do we want to win at the same game as everyone else and what is our definition of winning. 

For some, winning is simply about being the best.  It’s about rising above everyone or being the big fish in a small pond.  For others, winning is about the personal challenge and brining their best to the game.  For others it’s about playing their own game and success is measured when they achieve their personal goals.  We are all at different stages of the game of life and it’s up to us to figure out how we want to move forward.  I can’t say that there is anything wrong with any particular stage because I’ve been in all of them, some much longer than others.  It’s something we all go through.  But in order to succeed, we need to know very clearly what our definition of success is and what we are aiming for.  What are the benchmarks that determine if we’ve gotten what we are looking for?  In some cases there are advantages to fitting in.  In others we need to stand out.  In either case we need to decide what the goal is. 

My definition of winning is sharing as much information as I can.  I want people to be informed and to be able to make sense of this life.  I want people to take real information and apply it in a way that works for them.  I want people to have the truth and know they are empowered to make decisions that benefit them over the system.  In that regard, I’m not about fitting in.  I’ve worked in a sick system long enough and I’ve gotten nowhere doing exactly as I was told, doing the things I was promised would yield results.  That isn’t a sob story, that is the reality for many people. Now the desire to maintain my autonomy and follow what I know is right for me is greater than my need for fitting in and the same rewards as anyone else.  I’m looking for something more, I’m looking to fulfill a purpose of waking people up to their greatest potential and authority.  I want people to succeed where they need to succeed because when we all fulfill our purpose, we all win.