“When we recognize that we don’t know what we don’t know, that’s when wisdom starts,” Dritan Hodo.  How often in our days do we say things with a dismissive, “I know”?  Our immediate response to a conversation is often, “I know” when perhaps we really mean, “I Relate”.  We have mistaken relating for knowing someone else’s experience—and there is a time when similar feelings will exist, but we never have the exact same circumstance as someone else.  The players are different, we are different, and even if our emotional response is similar, we can’t KNOW what someone else is experiencing.  Look at how people react to similar stimuli, or people who have experienced trauma together.  They may respond similarly to certain things, but their actions after depend on who they are and what their previous experiences engrained in them.  They even remember the event differently. 

The point of wisdom is to share it.  We can’t develop our wisdom base, the things we know, without learning something new and there is absolutely something new to learn every day.  So many of us who create familiar routines find safety in knowing what’s coming—knowing isn’t necessarily about ego, it’s about preparation and protection.  The cases mentioned above where we demonstrate little time for others or patience to hear their point of view eliminates what could be valuable connections and the opportunity to learn what we didn’t know.  Everyone brings something to the table and sometimes we don’t know that until we hear them out.  We can’t listen if we already assume we know everything they are going to say. 

I think this also highlights the importance of language.  We have such a gift with our ability to communicate how we do—written, spoken, and body language.  All of the nuances create a way of relating that can truly bring us closer together.  On the other side, it can be as equally divisive.  So, as I mentioned above, sometimes we say what we don’t mean—it’s really important to understand what we actually mean.  We aren’t trying to create division between people, but the language changes the meaning.  Again, when we say, “I know,” we might really mean, “I relate.”  In that regard, we are opening the conversation to connection rather than one-upping someone or competing over who had it worse.  When we relate, we know we aren’t talking about one for one, we are talking about a similarity that opens the way to conversation and conversation is the gateway to learning.  Always be willing to learn because there is a lot that we don’t know what we don’t know.  Be open to it all.