We are too quick to point fingers.  I found it really interesting sharing a common experience amongst all three of my teams last week and that was people placing erroneous blame on them.  I will fully admit by the end of the week I was beyond pissed.  In each circumstance my teams were able to support their decisions and show that they were not at fault.  For example, one team was accused of not returning calls creating low registration for an event. After reviewing the calls and telling the complainer that we documented the return call, they checked their phone and found the message.  They sent back an apology stating they missed the message that was there all along and it was “embarrassing for them”.  Another incident involved accusing an employee of shirking their job and sending a patient to the wrong department.  After we got the employee’s side of the story we discovered the patient was sent to the right place, they relayed the information erroneously to the other department.  I share these stories because it became quite apparent that a pattern is emerging: lack of responsibility.

The common issue with these experiences was that someone expected another person to take responsibility for their shortcoming or mistakes.  The event wasn’t receiving a lot of activity because the department didn’t advertise well.  The “incorrect” transfer was an angry patient who couldn’t be bothered to hear anything explained to them.  Instead of having the wherewithal to set these people straight, the recipient of the information automatically placed blame—and worse, my team approached me thinking my staff were at fault.  First of all, what a waste of time and energy.  Secondly, had we taken the time to examine the entire situation we may have seen what the real issue was.  Thirdly, instead of spending our time placing and assigning blame, we could have easily resolved the issue directly instead of wasting more time with an “investigation” as all notes were documented in all cases. 

The same can be said for us.  We are often quick to point the finger at other people for issues we have created in our own lives.  Ironically for people pleasers, we are also too quick to accept blame for others.  This isn’t necessarily about who is right or wrong, this is more about ownership and responsibility.  Too often we see things and our perception clouds the reality of it.  We all know that feels like crap when it’s done to us and we know on the surface that perception isn’t reality.  I truly wish we could stop people from behaving this way.  Reality is reality and facts cannot be changed so instead of searching to blame, search for the truth.  We may not always like it but that doesn’t change it.  And the greatest thing about the truth is, when it’s out there and everyone knows, we at least have a common ground to start from.  Seek truth, not blame.