How do we move on when the stories we tell ourselves were false? I had a different concept about moving on that both liberated me and stopped me in my tracks.  I’m the first to admit that my family trends toward the dramatic side, the victim side, and the martyr side (myself included).  It’s easy to elicit sympathy if something is always going wrong and if we dwell in it, then there is the perfect excuse for not achieving what we set out to.  With that being said, the thought that came to me was about the interpretation of events in our lives.  How is that two people can have the exact same experience but their experience will be completely different?  It’s because of what we tell ourselves about what happened and what we feel about what happened.  I know some people whose version of events was so different from mine that I questioned whether or not I was actually there.  So what do we do?

There is a middle ground that requires an entirely objective view of what happened and taking the event simply for what it was.  We are trained to put an interpretation on it because it’s a survival and safety thing, so this isn’t easy.  But if we can learn to take things at face value and simply react to what is rather than what we THINK it is, it makes things a lot easier.  The mind is an incredible tool but it isn’t always honest when it allows emotion in.  We get stuck on how it feels based on our previous experience (x happened so I must feel y) so it becomes difficult to differentiate feeling differently in a similar circumstance.  Again, this exercise isn’t easy—it requires a lot of determination and focus.  At the same time, it guides us toward what we do want to feel.  If our interpretation of events isn’t making us feel good then we can choose again.

This is why it’s so important to be honest with ourselves at all times.  What are we really feeling and does it align with how we want to feel?  The stories we tell ourselves can promote or repress us, the version of events and what we associate it with internally is that important.  The saying that there are always three sides to every story (yours, mind, and the truth) is so true.  If we can lean a little more toward the truth then it works in everyone’s favor.  Being objective takes practice but it’s easy to identify how we WANT to feel.  No one overtly chooses to feel bad meaning they don’t actively say, “I want to feel bad today.”  So if feeling good means keeping an open mind and an awareness of what best serves in the moment and for the greater good.  If the goal is to progress then we need to consider what we are telling ourselves.