True freedom lies not in the ability to say yes, but in the courage to say no.  Trust our instincts and only pursue what feels right for us, what call us.  do not allow others to tell us what needs to be done with our precious time here.  We get to decide what works for us even if that doesn’t work for someone else.  Living with anxiety for as long as I have has taught me that I allowed the fear of someone not liking me over power my ability to simply be who I am.  I said yes to everyone, I wanted everyone to be happy with me.  I thought love meant that everyone constantly approved.  I never understood people could and would still love me even if they didn’t agree with every single decision I made.  Living like that meant I was deciding for someone else.  Getting in touch with that voice after not heeding it for so long has proved challenging.  Doubt is still louder than trust on some days, but I’m learning that this time we have isn’t so forgiving when it comes to waiting for our opportunities: we have to take them.

Saying yes is important, that isn’t the point.  We can’t sit around doing absolutely nothing and expect that anything valuable will come of it.  Saying yes to the things that matter is key, specifically to the things that matter to us personally.  There is a difference between saying yes in order to feel included or to be accepted and saying yes because it feels like the right thing.  The right thing feels different to everyone, but the only way to truly make it valuable is if it has meaning to us.  So learn to be discerning in the yes AND the no.  If it doesn’t feel right or it isn’t aligned with personal values, don’t do it.  Doing that only drains our energy and leaves us wanting of someone else to fulfill us.  If we become more discerning with what works for us, we tap into source directly, we aren’t waiting for someone else to fill the well.  Marie Forleo calls it “The full body yes.”  If it isn’t a, “Hell Yes!,” it’s a no, and that is ok.

When it comes to the courage to say no, we are talking about keeping our boundaries and not allowing others to sway us to do something we don’t want to.  Even if it goes against a group, or a person who really matters to us, when we aren’t feeling it, we need to be able to stay firm in our choice and say no.  It’s hard because we have equated being agreeable with being likeable even if it doesn’t sit well with us.  This is such a false message and it’s dangerous.  We aren’t meant to agree all the time otherwise we wouldn’t have new ideas.  We’d never come up with different solutions or generate ideas,  We need multiple perspectives because we live different lives.  Saying no is a good thing because that creates the boundary as much as saying yes does.  It’s our decisions that shape us through our experiences, and we need to be able to define who we are to know what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t be afraid to say no, and for the record, “No” is a complete sentence. We have nothing to explain.