Today I am grateful for reclamation.  It amazes me how quickly we fall back into habits without even realizing it.  Sometimes the feelings we experience lead us to familiar coping mechanisms before we even realize what we are doing.  We aren’t always aware of how to interrupt that thought process because we are in the middle of feeling it so we subconsciously revert to what gave us comfort or to behaviors we used during a different time.  I had been feeling pretty rough about work this past week for a variety of reasons and I’d been super crabby (for lack of a better word) without being able to put my finger on why.  It took nearly the entire week to process it, but I was feeling like crap because I’d been repeating patterns from over a month ago that set up the day poorly.  As soon as I realized that, I was able to turn things around and step back toward who I want to be and make different choices.   It was an absolute reclamation of power. 

Today I am grateful for acceptance.  We logically know that life doesn’t always go our way.  That doesn’t mean it feels any better when things take a turn or when someone does something other than what we expect them to (or when they fall into old habits).  If we really pay attention, there comes a moment when we understand that some people are simply who they are.  Their reactions have nothing to do with us, they are a reflection of who they are.  The sooner we understand a tiger doesn’t change its stripes, the easier it is to move forward.  That isn’t to say it’s without sadness or even disappointment, but it is to say that we have a clear view of what’s happening (or what won’t happen).  There are certain places in our lives that others can’t join us and we have to understand that we will be held back if we continue to wait for them to be something they are not.  Acceptance brings us closer to where we are meant to be.

Today I am grateful for focus.  I never realized how many external things impacted my ability to focus on what I wanted.  I also never realized how much ego, the thought that I could handle it all held me back.  Adult ADHD is no joke.  I often flitted from thing to thing, leaving stuff undone because I’d change projects on a whim always thinking I’d go back and finish whatever I had started.  The more I said yes to doing stuff, the less stuff got done and then the overwhelm and self-soothing would kick in.  The ego was more about proving to myself that I could do it all and then allowing myself to fall into victim mode, claiming people didn’t understand how busy I was as I continued to say yest to things I had no business saying yes to.  As soon as I started addressing my habits and allowed things that didn’t matter to fall away, the rest began to clear.  I still have trouble differentiating what is mine to handle at times, but letting the unnecessary fall away has made all the difference in eliminating pressures and following through.  Knowing my limits hasn’t confined me, it has set me free because I’m moving forward in a positive way.  Focus makes the magic happen because I can focus on the magic.  Energy flows where attention goes.

Today I am grateful for connection.  Becoming who we are meant to be can be a lonely exercise because the people we usually surrounded ourselves with may no longer be the ones who are capable of supporting or understanding us in our new reality.  So when we are in that new space, the space that honors who we are, when we find people who work with us there, it’s a gift.  Connection to the spiritual has changed things as well.  I have worked at my 9-5 for nearly 18 years and I never knew there was a labyrinth on the property next door—and it was built in 2012.  I’ve taken my lunch hour or my time away and spent it visiting the labyrinth.  I love the feeling of getting to the center and taking my shoes off to feel the grass beneath my feet, feeling the sun and the breeze.  It’s a beautiful place and I love the energy exchange while I’m there.  I’d sit and sulk in frustration most days, but connecting with nature and spirit have proven infinitely better.  Connection is key. 

Today I am grateful to make decisions.  It isn’t about making others see me in a certain way, it’s about seeing myself as I want to be seen and honoring who I am.  The greatest power we have is to decide who we are and to take the steps to be that person.  No one gets to take that away unless we allow it.  I’ve given away that power for far too long and it is an amazing gift to be able to decide who I am and take the steps toward supporting that.  It is complete liberation to let go of what wasn’t working and pick up or change course toward what feels right.  We’ve been caged for too long and deluded into believing a certain path in life works for everyone when we each have our own path.  We need to take the road that leads to ourselves and never look back.  Always choose who we are.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.