“Anger may be valid, but living for LOVE of possibility is what makes it happen,” Ashmi Pathela. I spent a lot of time angry.  Never really did anything about it except carry a huge chip on my shoulder, developed a shield so heavy I couldn’t carry it, and spewed on and on about how it should be when I wasn’t really sure who I was.  All of that was because I bought into a system that told me how it should be and I fell in line, I wanted to make people happy and be liked.  Things weren’t how I wanted them, but I believed there was a way they were supposed to go and if I was following it, then everyone needed to follow it.  As I started waking up and tried to honor more of what I felt inside instead of what I was told, I realized that there was this entire other world, infinite ways of being.  Suddenly that “fairness” and the “way things should be” became a crushing box instead of a defined boundary. Then I got angry again; why did I have to sacrifice who I was in order to be liked when others lived in their freedom?

I’m still reconciling that.  I’m still working daily to honor who I am and to worry less about what people think of me.  To worry less that people see me as arrogant and demanding and more that they understand we are all the same and deserve respect.  To worry less about asserting that I deserve to have my opinion heard just as anyone else’s.  We can be angry but that won’t resolve anything without action.  I don’t want to waste my time asking for forgiveness that won’t come, or for acknowledgement people aren’t capable of giving.  I’m done pointing out where people went “wrong” by the standards of society.  I’m more interested in loving myself and honoring who I am.  There comes a point we simply need to show people who we are.  It isn’t about power over them, it’s about harnessing our light for ourselves.  No one gets to diminish that light.  No one is meant to hide.  No one is meant to fear expressing themselves.  I believe my experiences and the people in my life have brought me to that conclusion.  The ones who show me how to be more free, and the ones who try to stop me alike. 

When we love our options, as we feel our way into who we are, that is when we can take action.  The binding of what we were supposed to be no longer fits and our souls can no longer bear the weight of being restricted.  Souls are meant to fly free and guide us along our path.  They can’t show us the way if we hold them back.  They can’t show us the way if we force them into a box.  While that anger is valid, we have every reason to feel it, it isn’t going to get us out of what we’ve been in.  It’s following joy and bliss and seeing possibility that get us out of our own way.  It’s acknowledging that certain things won’t change and that we need to remove ourselves in order to become who we are that moves us along.  Follow that love and that creative instinct because it is that source, the fire we’ve been talking about.  Anger points out what we need to see.  It may even burn down what once existed to create space for the new.  But it is Love is what allows us to change.  Love that makes things grow.  Find it within.