“Life is not in the doing.  It is in the being,” Eckhart Tolle.  Most of Tolle’s work revolves around presence and the awareness of now.  In a particularly harried moment, I came across this quote and it gave me pause. What am I doing all of this “doing” for?  I’m trying to transition into new things and here I am, repeating the same patters again, still looking for permission to follow where I know I need to go, still trying to prove I’m right, trying to prove my worth.  It hit me the other day that I will never get where I want to be staying where I’m at.  I know, common sense, we’ve talked about it—I’ve preached it, but this was different.  The thought almost came out of nowhere.  I was working on a frustrating case, doing all I could, and this still came back around to what I had done wrong even though exactly what I had warned people about happening, happened.  They did what I told them not to, and somehow that was my fault. Instead of getting angry, I felt completely resigned.  They were going to do what they wanted and find a way to make it my fault no matter what because THAT was their goal.

No one deserves to feel that way.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I accepted that this is how they are and that cemented that, not only do I not fit in/they don’t like me for whatever reason, I don’t need to put up with that bullshit.  I asked myself if I really wanted to continue to feel that way for the rest of my life, like I need to defend every action, every decision I make.  Do I want to feel unsupported in everything I do?  Do I want to feel condescended to on a daily basis?  I know the latter is about ego, but it’s still a fair question.  Do I want to feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle with people who won’t give me the gameplan, who like to stand at the top of the mountain and laugh at those working their way up?  The answer was no, to all of it.  So, now I ask, why am I doing all of that doing instead of simply being present in myself?  That’s the key in Tolle’s statement.  It isn’t about being lost in the busyness, it’s in the ability to stop and get in the presence of who we are.  Knowing we are enough.

Healing from people pleasing presents a challenge at this stage in the game, but I see the rules have shifted now.  Some people are meant to be where they are and they find joy in what they do—and that means letting them enjoy it.  My goal wasn’t to climb a corporate ladder, it was to lead people into their own sense of being.  The people who want to stay where they are, who are determined to judge others for seeing things differently, need to be left alone.  There comes a point where the tadpole becomes the frog and leaves the pond (to continue our discussion of frogs and tadpoles 😊).  It’s not my job to convince the tadpoles to embrace change and be kind and nurture others—it’s my job to become the best frog I can be and leave when the pond is no longer big enough for us.  I/We can only do that in being who we are.  That’s how we know when it’s time, that’s how we follow our intuition, and that is how we “be”.  Intuition tells us all we need to know, and once we stop all the moving and doing, we can hear it.  Listen and heed the call.