My kid didn’t even look back at me as he slyly worked his way into the lake, thinking I was going to stop him from going further, like I didn’t know he would soon soak himself in the water.  He watched his cousin for long enough and he waited for my words to give him permission to finally go in.  I watched him nervously at first, he isn’t a great swimmer and we hadn’t planned on going in the water so he didn’t have his life vest.  But as I watched him stretch a leg over the tadpoles waiting at the entrance of the water, I knew it was the right move.  He needed to get in there, to feel the messiness, to feel the water.  He needed to laugh with his cousin in the water, swimming with tadpoles and bass, on a gorgeous pre-summer day on his uncle’s property.  He needed to laugh with family and learn to push his own limits and trust himself.  Maybe I needed to learn to push mine as well, and trust myself too.

Life has a way of telling us when it’s time to change.  When it’s time to look at things differently.  When it’s time to try something new.  Life has a way of showing us exactly what it’s about.  We just need to be open to the signs and know how to trust enough to follow them.  No matter how many fears I have, no matter how much I may still hold myself back, I can say with 100% certainty that I know the magic exists on the other side of all of that.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve also treated it with a tenuous grasp, like it’s something that goes away.  It never goes way, although it is ironic that the harder we try to hold it, the faster it seems to slip.  The key is to flow.  And trust.  The more we find that special space, creation takes place and shows us directly to our purpose.

The purpose of life is to live.  I spent way too many years on the sidelines, too much time waiting for the right moment, always afraid to jump in.  Life has a way of teaching us, and for me, I needed to learn to let go of my fears and trust what comes next.  Life happens in these moments:  My kid dirty in the water.  My family gathered around the table with good friends and food. Laughing at everything.  Holding each other.  Feeling my body move as we walked the property.  Feeling my feet on the dirt and in the water, the wind through my hair, and the sun on my face.  Saving tadpoles.  Giving the new kittens and their mama love in my brother’s office.  More laughter with friends.  How amazing is that?  How perfect is that?  Life is messy at times but my God is it beautiful.  What a gift to have this time, to be here, to feel these things, and to know that this is it.  This is how we live. This is living.