We all reach a point where we know we are done.  Done with feeling sorry for ourselves.  Done with taking on other people’s stuff.  Done with the same routine.  Done with begging to be seen and heard.  Done with fighting for something.  Done with letting things slide.  The same can be said for people when they realize that where they are, the patterns they carry are no longer serving.  Not that this is easy to stop, but we all have that point where we know what we do isn’t going to get us what we want.  I spoke of the nuclear bomb theory yesterday and I want to elaborate on that a bit.  We live in a culture that is so attention depleted but attention seeking and so deprived of the ability to thoroughly communicate that as soon as we see a human, we unleash or expect them to have the answers.  Call it what we want, say we thought this person might actually know the answer, that doesn’t negate us of our responsibility to find out the most reliable source—and it doesn’t stop us from holding each other accountability to that responsibility.

For example, like all of you, I get paid to do a specific job.  Most corporations have this thing about efficiency and the greater good of the organization often to the detriment of employees.  For example, I’m a salaried employee.  I get paid for 40 hours and not a cent more.  Anything over 40 hours is my time and donated to the organization.  The expectation is that I will work above and beyond what I am paid to do without compensation.  Now, if a project runs long, things happen.  But I am not going to acquire more work and more projects to be met in the same deadline for the same pay.  I will not be responsible for your poor planning.  I have no qualms about leaving my job every day after 8 hours.  If you insist on putting something over on a certain day, then I will be leaving early the next day.  I know that doesn’t always make me a team player, but I was the kid who finished the team’s work for too long and that didn’t get me anywhere, either.  And what is it if it’s good for the team but bad for the individual? All that leads to is more stress and resentment and no one can afford to live like that any longer. But this world can be manipulative and make you believe that something is wrong with you for not going “extra”. I think we need to learn to be satisfied with enough and learn that someone else’s happiness at the cost of our own is too expensive and it’s a lie we’ve been fed to benefit a system.

When we people please we take up the mantle of someone else’s expectations at the expense of our own.  When we train our children and the people around us to people please, we are teaching them that taking responsibility for other people’s lives is more important than learning to take responsibility for our own lives.  When we carry other people’s stuff for too long, we never learn to pick up our own.  I’m not interested in being a team player anymore.  Yes, I would love to work with a team, but I am not interested in what’s good for the team if that means putting it before my needs or my sanity.  I am also not interested in working with the team if we aren’t pulling our equal weight.  Again, that isn’t to say that things don’t shift occasionally, but when we do our part, that makes things go around.  I want us to consider that part of our responsibility is making sure we know who we are and where we belong.  Knowing what our values are and what we do.  If those things aren’t aligned then we don’t have a clue how to handle it when others aren’t accountable either.  So all of this to say I am done with taking on other people’s responsibility.  I am done feeling guilt for the life I live.  I am done feeling shame for adhering to my values.  I am done thinking doing things for others makes me good instead of trampled on.  Honor ourselves and hear the calling of our soul to know what is right for us.