Matthew McConaughey recently held an event on the art of living and he shared some eye opening nuggets of wisdom.  Sometimes we aren’t able to get honest with ourselves because we feel like we will let ourselves and others down.  We hide parts of who we are and don’t share our story because of how we think it makes us look.  The truth is our stories connect us.  When we share the truth of who we are, we express vulnerability, yes, but we also express an authenticity that can’t be taken away.  We show the parts that most people can relate to.  McConaughey shared a story of trying to find himself and he wound up walking with a monk, sharing his story for over four hours with the monk saying nothing.  At the end of the conversation, the monk turned to McConaughey and said simply, “Me too.”  To hold space and witness the parts of ourselves and others that we don’t want to see opens our eyes to another immutable fact: the human condition is not a singular problem, we are all susceptible to greed, anger, joy, pleasure, pain, hope, resentment, etc. as the next person (Matthew McConaughey). 

The truth is confidence in this life, in this day and age is a fickle thing.  We can’t rely on confidence as a gauge of success unless it’s the confidence that comes from knowing ourselves.  Anything that comes from the outside or “makes” us feel a certain way can be altered or taken away at any time and it’s important to have the wherewithal to let go when necessary.  So when we share and understand with 100% certainty that we are not alone, we can build relationships and connect with others.  Connection is key.  I’ve always been one of those do-it-on-my-own women because I felt the need to prove myself every step of the way.  Plus I didn’t want to be bound by other people’s timelines so if I wanted something done, it was faster to do it myself.  But that left me empty and scared and anxious, always looking for the next thing that could go wrong because I had to be on high alert for any issue to deal with.  I became addicted to fear and stress and trained my brain to constantly feel victimized.  While there were moments those feelings were true, my life was not constantly in danger—no ones is.

So when it comes to the human condition, we can fix the issue with connection on two levels: connection with ourselves and connection with others.  When we connect with ourselves, we develop an understanding of our flaws AND our strengths, of our fears AND our possibilities, of our obligations to others AND our responsibility to ourselves.  We see the truth of who we are and we embrace and accept it and when we learn to operate from that foundation, a path forward begins to form.  When we connect with others, we are reminded to be humble because we aren’t alone.  We are reminded the world isn’t out to get us and that we have options.  We can learn from other people’s lessons and we can teach other people from ours.  We aren’t meant to be singular creatures, we need community and love and support.  Judging ourselves as unworthy places judgement on others.  Remember our worth and our values and if we live there, we are always divinely guided.