I’ve known that something has been off for a while with several of my relationships at work but one person has been VERY skilled at making it seem like it’s my fault.  I knew I did nothing wrong.  Information had been kept from me, there were things I didn’t even know I needed to learn because they were never shared, conversations and action were taken behind my back and then brought forward as if they did me a favor, or worse, that I didn’t want to take the responsibility—a responsibility I often didn’t know was mine.  I knew in the end that these things were being held against me and being interpreted as I didn’t want to do my job or that I was incompetent when the reality is that a simple knowledge transfer didn’t happen.  Had we focused on that transfer and level set expectations (or even just set expectations) at the beginning, none of this would be an issue.  So the question raised in my mind, “What purpose would it serve to make me appear this way?  What purpose would it serve for these people to have it seem like they did it all?”  The first thing that came to mind was they want to get rid of me—and that was followed up with a why?

The truth is I’ve never been compliant.  I’ve never been complacent for things that don’t make sense.  I’m the type of person who wants to go in and make it better for everyone.  I’ve never believed that one person should have to sacrifice for someone else to benefit and I sure as hell have never thought that anyone needed to suffer simply to make someone else feel better (IE a customer has a complaint and the staff need to take the abuse for an unreasonable request).  I’ve always believed we need to stand up for ourselves and that we need to do what makes the most sense all around—not just for one party whether the business, the staff, the customer etc.  There is a way to benefit all parties involved.  And quite frankly sometimes there ISN’T.  Sometimes we have to simply follow rules or designs meant to keep people safe or it is meant to keep people equitable.  In general, however, your poor planning doesn’t constitute my emergency so do not expect me to clean up or disrupt my life because you didn’t plan in time.  Also, don’t make me take the time to plan through something you’ve already got set in your mind only to tell me it needs to be different—that’s just obnoxious and rude and a waste of time.

None of those things make me a good employee.  They make me a creative leader who finds ways to get it done and my role is a leader.  I’m impulsive and I move forward quickly (once I make a decision that is) and if we have a goal I’m going to meet it and I will do it in the most expeditious way possible because there needs to be time for creative energy elsewhere.  I’m not going to sit here and find new ways to creatively analyze a workflow for a team that truly doesn’t belong where it’s been held—again, waste of time.  And if you’re not going to tell me how it should be done, then I’m going to figure out a way to get it done with what I know.  Again, I’m not a mind reader, I’m not going to waste time figuring out how you want it if you don’t tell me—communication is key.  So with these pieces in place I realized, they didn’t know how to handle me and it was their attempt at covering their asses in how they thought things needed to appear.

I’m not a perfect person, far from it, but I’m bold and I’m honest to a fault.  I will have the difficult conversation when I know in my heart what’s right regardless of who it’s with.  I don’t give a damn about your title, the title is especially who I want to talk to.  Just because you’re scared to speak with that person doesn’t mean I am.  WE are all human, including that title, so there is no point spinning the wheel about what that person might think or thinking we have to behave a certain way because of their title.  You’ve never had a complete experience of that person and often times what you interpret is that person’s expectations are way off.  Just because you’ve had an experience with that person doesn’t mean my experience has been or will be the same.  In fact my experience of that person is the total opposite so I’m going to approach it differently regardless.  The non-compliance, the boldness, the impulsiveness make me dangerous in this environment.  What I’ve learned from that however is this: do it anyway.  I am who I am and I know that I don’t know it all.  I know I don’t know how other people will react but I do know that in order to find out we need to have the conversation.  My instinct is to share and that has always served me well.  I will not let this situation scare me out of continuing to do that and I want you to know to follow your instinct as well.