One area of practice I want to focus on more throughout this year is confidence.  Confidence was always a sticking point, rather a point of lack, for me in terms of maintaining it.  I’d speak boldly but rarely take the action behind it.  There was always something undercutting me because of how short I am as well.  The truth is I’ve lived my entire life with constant commentary on my outward appearance and it was explicitly told to me multiple times that I am not fit for something simply because I’m short.  Regardless of my KNOWING what I was capable of, it turned into a constant game of proving myself rather than expressing my innate abilities in a productive way.  Genuine confidence isn’t bold or braggy, rather it is based in knowledge of self. It’s knowing purpose and making decisions without concern of other’s opinions—not things that would hurt others, but their thoughts of us. It takes practice to develop the kind of resilience and self-awareness. 

There is another perspective on this that looks more at how our confidence isn’t contingent on us.  Another lesson from Jay Shetty is on FAST Confidence.  He discusses how we don’t fail because of a personal flaw, but rather from one of four main reasons.  Those reasons shouldn’t deter us from seeing the good in ourselves, rather they show us places where we need to work or areas where we can make the decision to walk away and focus on something else.  Shetty talks about the FIT, the APPROACH, the SKILL, and the TIMING.  Often those four details determine a great deal more about our confidence and our timing than any implication on our character.  Knowing if we are the right fit for the environment, using the correct approach, knowing our skills are aligned with our purpose, and if the timing is right determine our success.       

In my case, I can’t change my outward appearance or how people perceive me, but I can focus on where things matter.  Am I the best fit?  Do I have the right approach?  Are my skills up to par?  Is this the right time?  If I’m the best fit then my outward appearance won’t matter.  If I’m using the correct approach then my words make the bigger impact than anything else.  If my skills can solve an issue, then I’m aligned with my purpose.  If all of those things align and are being used, and I’m actively contributing, then it’s the right time.  So, with keeping these four areas in mind to keep perspective, then it’s easier to develop authentic confidence because the focus is on the work and the purpose behind it.  Confidence doesn’t have to be about anything external.  It’s about knowing who you are.