I had a moment the other day that both humbled and excited me.  My company is going through a lot of changes and one of the senior leaders on our team decided to retire, so she was asked to give a speech.  Now, we’ve technically worked for this woman for two years now and I had NEVER seen her before—you know how it goes with corporate mergers.  As much as I talk about not judging people by appearance, my jaw dropped when I saw her for what would be the first and last time.  She looked incredibly young, much shorter than I thought, shockingly thick hair, and a round plumpness to her that flattered her aspect entirely.  I share these physical aspects with you because that is what initially stood out.  This woman had a near 40 year career in healthcare and I know she was talented enough to get the position she held, but my interaction with her was so limited that all I could go on was the first appearance.

Ah, the lesson:  it is human nature to make decisions based on what we see, it’s a primal, protective instinct.  Ironically I’ve ALWAYS hated how people judged me on first sight, and here I was doing the exact same thing—but for different reasons. So what struck me about her was exactly how much like me she seemed.  My hair may not be as thick anymore as I’ve been dealing with a lot of changes in my life, but otherwise, I’m just like her.  There were a couple of things with that: 1. People who look like me can succeed.  Just because I appear youthful doesn’t degrade the lesson, wisdom, and gift that I have to share.  I’m still worth sharing that gift and it’s my responsibility to do so.  2. I don’t want her life.  Yes, it’s comforting to know that women who look like me can succeed in the industry I’m currently in.  But I’m at the point I don’t care anymore.  If it means fighting every day to prove who I am, what my worth is in this arena, I don’t want it.  I don’t want to waste my time being anything other than what I am, and if that isn’t appreciated where I’m at, then it’s time to go.

I guess the last lesson from this is that there can be value in initial judgements.  While I hate to be judged for what I look like and I try my best to not judge others, the right group will see you for exactly who you are.   Aside from the issue of primal safety, we can learn about ourselves and what those judgements say to us.  We can learn to curb our judgement or we can lean into them in the respect of understanding what they’re actually telling us.  For me, I learned clearly who I am that day.  I learned that success is possible regardless of outside experience if you create that opportunity by following your path.  I also reinforced that success is subjective.  What is success to someone doesn’t have to be my definition of success. That too comes from following my path and from you following your path.  It’s ours for a reason—follow it.