Sometimes we have to approach a problem from a different angle.  This past week we’ve talked about recognizing where we are the issue, how we can be our own hero, and how we need to slow down enough to recognize the problem so we can redirect to experience life, not run through it.  Sometimes when we are stuck, or seeing the same issue repeatedly, it’s because of a pattern we can’t let go of.  Or it’s because we use the same solution we’ve always run to for a problem that needs a new outlook.  We carry things with us.  Knowledge keeps us safe and it opens the door to new things.  Humans are creatures of habit and we will go with what we know, the path of least resistance every time.  It serves us to make decisions quickly and efficiently, a gift from our primal brain. 

Some times those habits become like a raft.  One of my favorite parables in Siddhartha is about approaching the river and it’s too wide to swim across and it’s unknown how deep, so he fashions a raft and uses it to cross safely.  Once on the other side he has the choice to carry the raft with him or leave it behind.  What happens if he reaches another river?  How can he move forward through the forest carrying the raft?  Sometimes what served us doesn’t serve us any more.  That which gets us here is not necessarily what is going to move us forward.  How we cope, how we approach life, sometimes holds us back and we need a new way.  We have to release the raft of emotional safety to trek forward. 

Sitting with the problem isn’t about finding the quickest solution.  It’s about finding the solution that addresses the issue at its core.  For things like emotional weight it means understanding why we do things like engage in addictive behaviors, emotional eating, staying in unhealthy relationships.  We want to address the eating when really it’s about our self-worth.  We self-destruct because we are afraid of success.  We stick in a relationship because we don’t want to be alone or we fear we can’t do it on our own.  But those habits and patterns are the raft.  They may have made us feel good in the moment, but they are only holding us back.  We need to learn to develop strength and confidence rather than stuffing and over-consuming to feel better, or engaging in codependency.

Leaving the raft behind means taking ownership, another concept we talked about this week.  Sometimes it’s as simple as seeing where we create our own obstacles and putting them down.  Other times it means doing some deep digging and taking a new approach.  It means slowing down and evaluating where we are.  We aren’t stuck, we are familiar, and when we are familiar, it’s harder to let go.  The brain doesn’t like the unknown—we have to learn to make the unknown a friend.  We do that by doing hard things, by being honest, and by learning to let go of the raft.  Often times the situation is much lighter to carry than the mechanisms we use to feel better about it.  So face the issue head on instead of dodging it.  You have to let it go to move forward.