“Nobody is ever going to save you-you need to do that on your own,” Rob Dyrdek.  I used to love the idea of a princess—a Disney princess.  When I was a kid, I loved Cinderella because, while her life was unfair, she got the best in the end of that story.  When I got a little older, I loved Belle.  She knew who she was and knew what she wanted and she fought for those she loved—plus she had the ability to see the good no matter what things seemed.  Her belief in others also brought her the good in the end.  I used to disregard the fact that they went through a ton of shit—I just liked that it always seemed worth it in the end.  Life comes with a lot of harsh truths, the least of which is that none of us are princesses and sometimes things don’t turn out in the end. 

That isn’t to say there isn’t merit in believing fantasy, but it’s more important to remember the truth: we all have power in our lives to change the outcome of where we are.  We are able to choose to become our own hero.  I wrote yesterday about how sometimes we need to see the best in every situation.  I want to add that sometimes we need to choose to do something different in the situation.  We need to see our patterns and know what’s causing the issue in our lives.  No one is going to come through a reward us with the keys to the kingdom.  Sometimes we have to make a new door.  Sometimes we have to make our own kingdom.

Taking the keys to our own kingdom means accepting things about yourself.  Knowing what you’re good at, what you like, what feels good, knowing and understanding your purpose and knowing how to fulfill it.  It means acknowledging what fits.  I’ve tried all my life to be palatable, and with the amount of practice I’ve had over the years, I’ve become quite good at it.  I don’t want that to be my superpower.  I don’t want to survive or make a name by being the chameleon, the one that changes to fit with whomever she’s with.  I don’t want to die having never really lived MY life.  I’m no longer interested in what looks good or sounds good to others.  I’m interested in finishing this healing and stepping into the next phase.

Decades pass in a blink.  I woke up and over two decades of my life are gone and I don’t remember much about them.  My son is six, no one has come to save me, and there are still moments it feels like I’m stuck on repeat.  We waste so much time.  Time on social media, time with TV, time fighting, time stressing, time hiding who we are.  Time is the most valuable asset and resource we have and we squander it as if it’s a renewable thing.  Everyone has a moment where they get to decide what comes next.  Move forward as is and stop complaining about it.  Or.  Move forward into the unknown and make the leap into what feels right.  Nobody is going to save us.  Make the choice.