Following up on last week speaking of magic and remembering what we can do, I have some steps that I take to bring me back to that.  Owning our lives isn’t about forcing things to go our way.  It’s not about getting our way at all—it’s about honoring and sharing our gifts.  It’s about knowing those gifts, knowing our purpose and acting on it.  It’s not about controlling others, it’s about controlling the facets of our lives within our control and knowing how to emotionally navigate the rest.  That comes with recognizing the issue when we are in tight situations, when we feel like we have no way out.  When we are so preoccupied with the problem that there are options available we don’t even see.

Whether it’s a physical thing, a person, or our environment, we have a choice to either fix it, fix the way we respond to it, move around it, or move on from it.  We always have a choice.  We also have a choice when the issue is how we view the problem or how we feel about it, and it’s the same choice, fix it, fix our response, move around it, or move on. While those might not seem like great options, or we are so attached to the outcome they don’t seem possible, those are at least better than sitting stuck with the issue.  If we refuse to see our part in the solution, we refuse to see that we cause our own blocks in moving forward.  Sometimes we are the problem, but, as Marie Forleo says, if I’m the problem, I’m also the solution.  I am the blockage and the solution all in one. 

I’m the first to admit it took me forever to recognize where I caused my own pain.  It was so much easier to put it on an external source, and I had many external sources of pain, we all do.  I still don’t like to admit that life is 10% what happens and 90% how you respond to it.  I mean, there are days when we are simply dealt a shitty hand and the anvil falls on us.  It’s a lot easier to play a King than a Joker that shouldn’t have even been in the deck, and damn it, when you’re crushed, you can’t walk with broken legs.  In those situations, we are out of the game before it even starts.  So if you’re 10% has everything you need, the 90% feels a whole lot better and it’s clearer how to respond.  When it’s a rough hand, that 10% feels pretty empty.  Now, I’m not saying even the worst isn’t for a reason because it all shapes us, but I’m saying it’s a tough game to play if you don’t have the right stuff so to speak.

What I settled on understanding was that I can shift my perspective and ask different questions—instead of “why me?” it can be “what lesson?”.  I also learned that in shifting that mindset, we understand that our minds control how we see things, and we are able to control what goes through our minds.  It isn’t about stopping the “bad” things, it’s about finding the “good” if we need to label it.  So while I think the 90/10 percentage is inaccurate, there IS merit in how we view a situation.  Clarity is what drives the action, so if we can see through the muck of a crappy situation, we can better find the answer.  Really it’s more about not muddying the waters than it is saying bad is good.  So if we can see our part in it, if we can shift our thoughts, we can find the answer as well.  The magic is still within us.