Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for milestones.  I’ve told many stories of living my life like a checklist, thinking it was just about going from one goal to another, never really achieving anything because it was a circular checklist I just watched grow longer and longer.  But I’ve been learning the difference in moving forward.  I’ve been considering the definition of actionable and progress and anything that moves you forward toward purpose is progress. Each milestone doesn’t have to be leaps and bounds bigger by any means.  It can be ensuring you’re taking care of yourself each day.  Making sure you eat healthy more often than not.  Taking time to do something you love consistently.  It doesn’t have to be a huge achievement, it only need be a huge achievement to you. 

Today I am grateful for love.  I put a lot of pressure on people in my life without even realizing I do it.  It really comes down to my expectations.  If you want a certain result, you have to do certain things, that is simply how it works.  But I struggle with patience and allowing people the space to learn that for themselves.  I don’t often stop and look at what is happening in the moment, in the shared humanity, in the learning.  Most importantly, in the expression of who they are and how they show themselves.  I am grateful that I’ve had people stick by me through my difficult phases and my perfectionism and I am grateful for how they’ve supported me in their own ways. 

Today I am grateful for the capacity to learn.  I’ve been set in my ways for a long time and really good about pointing out the need to change to others.  I’m grateful that I’ve been able to turn that critical eye on myself.  I want to point out that I never offered critical unsolicited advice, I work with people seeking growth and growth requires honesty.  It took me a long time to shift perspective toward the parts of me that really needed work.  And I learned that it wasn’t so much about what needed work, it was more about what needed growth and nurturing and to be brought into the light.  That is when we find what we really need. 

Today I am grateful to shed.  I’m deep in the midst of transformation and so much of this process is about letting go rather than shaping.  Letting go allows everything that isn’t to fall away.  What remains is where the meat is.   Life can often feel like we are running around picking up all the fallen pieces of who we are, the things we enjoy, and the things we are “supposed” to do.  But I’ve learned to get comfort in the shedding and allowing those pieces to fall away.  If I truly believe that what is meant for us can never go away, then it is natural to release those parts of us that no longer serve.  There are some things worth fighting for, of course, and those things we will work to keep with us all our lives.  But others have served their purpose, their season, and we need to let them go.  Some of those pieces come back to us at the right time.

Today I am grateful for reconnection.  Those pieces that come back to us come at the right time.  I’ve been in more constant contact with an old friend of mine recently.  We had a falling out because of typical teenage things that I handled poorly and my inability to face that as a kid.  I’m fortunate enough that we maintained some semblance of friendship over the years and I feel fortunate now to reconnect as adults.  When we look back it’s easy to feel shame and regret—and this is one of those situations for me.  But I am more grateful looking forward and seeing the capacity I can show up for her now.  The point is, in spite of what happened, we are meant to be in each other’s lives and the universe has brought us back.

Today I am grateful for simple pleasures and the value of rest.  We celebrated Mother’s Day today and none of us were feeling particularly great. We’ve been pushing hard lately and haven’t taken as much time for self-care as we need.  My husband still took the time to make an amazing breakfast and an even more amazing dinner for me/us today.  I am so grateful for those moments of joy.  Painting with my son and playing catch. Watching some T.V.  I’m grateful to end the day satisfied, and content.  Remembering it is about who we spend our time with and what we make of that time together that matters.  How good it feels to create that sense of security and how ceaselessly fortunate we are to do it. 

Today I am grateful to remember.  I have had a difficult relationship reconciling time and things that have happened.  We all struggle with that to a degree.  I spoke with my sister today and it was so sweet…but also a tad surreal.  We come from the same family but we have had vastly different experiences.  Sometimes we struggle to connect with that.  Regardless, we spoke and took the time to make some plans for June.  Later, when we were eating dinner, I thought about how all of our differences make us unique, but that doesn’t change where we came from.  We are all vastly different people, but we all started the same.  I am grateful to remember and create space for those differences and honor the same. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

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