Today I am grateful for cleaning and organizing. Maybe we are a bit late, but the cleaning bug has hit our household. We moved here just about a year ago and we are finally organizing the rest of our space. It felt amazing to get things going and start really setting up things how we want them. I had a lot of guilt for it taking this long but, honestly, the more I talk to other people, the more normal I see this is. I’m glad we took our time because we were really able to plan out what we wanted and now we are making it happen. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves the time to settle in order to find what is really ours and decide on what we want to do.
Today I am grateful for finally making something my own. We’ve been in this in-between with what we want to do with our lives, dealing with new middle-age, aging parents, a growing child, job dissatisfaction, where the future will take us—you know, life. There are so many factors outside of our control, especially today, that we have to find those moments when we get them. As we cleaned today, we started eliminating the actual clutter. We put things where we decided they were—and that deciding felt good. Last year when I started this type of cleaning, it was overwhelming and emotional. This time it was cathartic and empowering. All that had to be done was to make a decision and do it. And we honestly both feel better for it. It’s nice to put our mark on what is ours. When we bought this house we thought this was going to be our forever home, but we haven’t made it that yet. Now we are working on it.
Today I am grateful for my life. Simply and completely, I am grateful. I had a talk with my boss this week and she reminded me again that I’m not celebrating the steps enough. I have to let go of the thought that if I’m not where I want to be, I haven’t accomplished anything. It simply isn’t true and it’s against what I’m promoting here. This is a space to celebrate what we’ve done, a place to remind each other of our worth. It isn’t a place to commiserate on how far we have to go. I am grateful for all I’ve done, all I’ve been granted the ability to do, and for all that will come.
Today I am grateful for fun. We needed time together as a family. I always found it interesting how we all need time apart but then we always need to come back together. It’s nice to spend that time together, just having fun. In the midst of our cleaning, we found our old Wii and showed it to our son and we ended up playing for about an hour. Our kid had a blast—he loved playing together and I loved that we moved together. I loved working together. That is life.
Today I am grateful for my body. Normally I express gratitude for my health, but today I want to get specific. I’ve been focusing really hard on taking care of my physical body. Like so many, I’ve spent years condemning and criticizing my body, never accepting it and always wishing it were another way. I hated it for the longest time to the point of self-harm. But as I work on appreciating this physical form and helping it toward health, I appreciate it so much more. This body has done amazing things. It has been a vessel of so many things in this world and the fact that it is still going, the fact it has survived all it has and can still move and still work toward improvement is astounding. I appreciate everything it has done and can do and I appreciate knowing that I can do more.
Today I am grateful for the pause. I think it’s timely to bring this up again. There is constant chaos in the world and I remark on it a lot. It weighs on me a lot because I look at the cause and want to fix it. It isn’t about looking for power or even about being right, it’s about addressing the root of our need for power and the need to be right. Not enough of us are taught to root in authenticity and we end up lashing out somehow. But taking a pause and remembering who we are, learning to HEAL is key. As a doer, I’m always 10 steps ahead on multiple tracks and that doesn’t leave room for healing. In fact, it keeps me pretty far behind. So stopping and considering what actually needs to be done is huge. Gaining perception is necessary and I am grateful to take stock.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.