Let’s talk about the pressure to do it all. I work a 9-5 and I have two business that I’m working on running on the side in addition to having a five year old. I’m working on my health in both fitness and nutrition as well as mentally. And I often feel completely isolated. I’ve written about the overwhelm before and I’ve even rattled off that list to you before—but here we are, still feeling the same things only it feels deeper and heavier now. This isn’t the weight I want to carry any longer. And honestly, I’m happy to feel this way. There were so many years I would simply continue on, push through, carry whatever anyone dumped on me—but I don’t want to do that anymore.
Believing that we have to do it all on our own is so toxic. One of my mentors talks about that all the time. It’s also one of the hardest habits to break. I mean, it is a ton of effort, but sometimes just doing it yourself is easier because you can execute the vision exactly as you see it. The problem is, on the most basic level, doing it alone isn’t sustainable. We all need people, even just for support. We all need to have an outlet or someone to help us.
As fate would have it, one of the groups I follow the other day posted about making clear decisions. Something about that moment switched the lightbulb for me. I started thinking about work (and home) and saw we aren’t making clear decisions or making real progress because we have simply taken on too much. It isn’t that it can’t all be done, it just can’t all be done at once. The track is created when we are trying to keep too many of the same things afloat at the same time. We can’t truly move forward because we are in a state of simply keeping it above water. When we have clear action and singular focus, then we are able to gain some forward momentum.
So then comes the difficult decision. We have to decide if what we are doing is what we REALLY want to be doing. We have to ask ourselves if this is the path we want to continue to follow. Sure, the control feels good (it’s even addictive) but are we getting what we really need? Then we have to ask if we even CAN do it. Do we have a reasonable amount of time to do what we are trying to and to do it well? We have to start looking at our days and evaluating the actions we take as valuable or not. And then we have to get honest: what is working and what isn’t. Not everything we start, even with the best intentions, is going to pan out. And the truth is not everything needs our attention. Less scattered checking off lists and more focus brings us closer to our goals.
Yes, we can have multiple goals, and yes, I fully believe we are all capable of achieving all of them—any way we want to. But I no longer see the value in taking up projects simply to fill time or with the hope of creating something when there is no real path to get there. I no longer want to check off lists. I want to create value and that requires focus and specificity. Not running the track. Sometimes this will mean saying no and sometimes it will mean letting go of things you thought you wanted to do. We are always works in progress and we are always allowed to change our minds. So do it. Align with what you are meant to do frequently and say no as often as you need to. We aren’t meant to do it all in the literal sense: we are meant to do all we want. So get clear and get honest and start aligning.