The Opportunity to Talk

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on

I shared my experience at work and the guilt in setting boundaries yesterday.  I also spoke of how good it felt to express myself and be heard.  I wanted to elaborate on that with the follow up.  We have weekly team meetings in my 9-5 and the events of the week prior weighed heavily on my mind.  The saying goes something like, “If it still bothers you after 24 hours, speak up in 48.”  Well, I didn’t get to speak up in 48, but I still broached the subject with the group.  One of the two individuals was in the meeting and I simply addressed the group with the facts.  I informed them that there is a lot going on with each group that no one has a clear understanding of and that we need to stop jumping into action when we assume something is broken.  I suggested that if we see something broken we need to come together and have a conversation in order to avoid assumptions.  We need to address the wound, not band aid the solution because we see numbers going up.

A few of them were slightly taken aback because no one has addressed them like that before.  Normally there is passive aggressive “confrontations” followed by weeks of speaking about each other behind our backs.  But this isn’t something I was going to sit on any longer.  I’ve never been one for unproductive work.  I’ve also never been one to try and plug a dam with my fingers.  It never made sense to me.  If there is an issue, I want to address it at the root.  Going after the symptoms isn’t going to stop the problem from happening.  I may be a people pleaser to this day, but I will not jump if there is something I know doesn’t make sense.  If there is a better way that is what we should be doing and I advocate for it.

I’m not naïve enough to believe that this will change anything with this group, but I am proud I took the chance.  I am happy I stood my ground and that I took the opportunity to express what was going on.  There is no way that anyone can say that I didn’t voice the concern when it came up.  People sometimes need time to digest a message and they sometimes don’t know how to address a crisis when it comes up.  My previous traumas have taught me when to react and when not to react to a perceived crisis.  Death is a crisis.  Severe injury is a crisis.  A miscommunication that leads to a few more accounts in a work queue is not a crisis.  So, now the information is out in the open and I can wait and see what happens.  You never know, maybe this is the moment that awakens some of them.  It set a boundary for myself on what I will and will not tolerate with the group and I’m glad it came from a place of authenticity.  Keep speaking up.

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