Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for support I’ve gotten over the years.  There are days I feel lonely but I know that over time I’ve been granted the gift of people who have understood me and they saw where I was going.  I’m grateful for the cheerleaders I’ve had in my life, even if they were telling me I’m an idiot.  I’m grateful for the support I don’t see, the protection and the love.  I’m grateful to also be given the reminder that I need to support myself.  As scary as life can be sometimes, we always need to be in our own court.  Our belief is stronger than anything and we need to love ourselves, become our biggest fans, and encourage ourselves to take the steps forward when we feel we can’t get out of bed.  Be kind.  And remember to be kind to ourselves as well.

Today I’m grateful to plant my feet again.  My mind is a dangerous place to be sometimes as it wanders and floats between so many things that I’m often not as present as I should be.  But the last few weeks have taught me the important of presence—whether I like what is happening or not—and how to stay in the moment.  The present moment is all we can deal with, nothing else exists as Eckhart Tolle says.  All we have is now, and that is enough.  I know how much time I’ve wasted wishing I was somewhere else or remembering something long gone and for each time I wasn’t focused on where I was, I missed it.  That presence became a memory that I can’t remember.  So.  It’s about taking what is and simply being.

Today I’m grateful for a reality check.  I’ve never hidden my faults or flaws or the troubles I’ve had and the difficulty I have with people—including my husband at times.  Yesterday I had a dark moment and I was alone with my son.  My husband was with the neighbors helping on a project and the wives were apparently together as well.  It has been made clear that they don’t want to accommodate me with my son—and that is ok, we are at different points in our lives.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.  I see my husband able to merge with this group and I still feel on the outside.  I mean, mentally I was down, and it was easy to see that not one person wanted to step in and help that.  I’m not looking for anyone to fix it, but to at least offer some support.  So it’s a matter of finding my tribe—and I am grateful for that.  Sometimes you have to accept it and we lose people we thought would be there forever.  But it’s part of it all and the sooner you accept it, the easier it is to move.

Today I’m grateful for allowing.  When we accept reality, all we can do is allow what is to unfold.  It is NOT about making things go our way or being sad when they don’t.  It’s about setting your boundaries and sticking with them.  The saying goes, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  I read a study the other day about why relationships fail after 3-4 months.  They said it si because that is how long people can keep up an illusion—that is how long they can put on a show before their true colors show.  Over my time I’ve ignored many a red flag.  But moving forward, that isn’t an option, not if I want to build a life.

Today I’m grateful for the simple joys in life.  I relish in being able to replenish with my family, especially after a tough week.  I’m not 100% sure what the issue has been—I mean, it’s a combination of things—but I’ve felt so angry.  I’ve felt off.  I’ve felt abandoned and alone.  I’ve felt unheard.  But I still appreciate finding the little joys.  I still appreciate some time to myself.  I appreciate recognizing that I have the opportunity to find the good.  For me that’s taking time with my family—even if they are the ones driving me crazy at times.  I enjoy remembering that there is love even on the days it doesn’t look like it. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

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