“You can change your mind now but you can’t change your decision,” Dijon. This just speaks to my soul on so many levels and if you’re here, I think it will speak to you too. At so many points in my life I’ve wanted to go back and do things differently. I wanted the outcome to be different and I just thought if I kept thinking it over and over again I would have the opportunity to change it. The truth is we can’t change what was, that is something we all agree on and understand. But you can always change your mind and make a new decision going forward.
In life there are going to be things we wish played out differently. For me, there is a strong emotional attachment to wishing I could fix something or make it how I envisioned it in the first place. I spent a lot of time trying to convince people to see things my way and to do it how I felt was appropriate because I was trying to avoid getting hurt. And there are times I wish it was different because I voiced my opinion and it was ignored only for the scenario to play out exactly as I said it would if we didn’t do something…and then I was expected to fix it. But I’ve learned to not regret doing things that help others as much as it hurts when those people only have negative things to say.
We can’t control other people but we can control ourselves and we all reach a pivotal moment when we have to decide if we are going to continue spending time making people see things our way and forcing them to do things or if we are going to let it lie and start making decisions that make sense for us. All of the moments I decided to do something hoping for an outcome, or when I did them hoping people would see me a certain way or even reciprocate, it blew up in my face. I wasted years like that. THAT is my biggest regret: the time lost to wishing for things that never would have played out a different way anyway. I regret not making decisions for myself sooner and taking the safe path because that doesn’t always work out—and even if it does work out, you’re still limited by the people who designed the path.
So. Make the choices that suit you—I’m not talking out of selfish reasons or with manipulation in mind, but because we have one life and it is too damn short to waste making a decision that doesn’t move you forward somehow. I’m not saying there aren’t lessons to learn and of course we all need help every now and then. But do not make a decision hoping for an outcome that people aren’t capable of giving you. You have to learn to manifest that outcome yourself. And we all have the power to do that. When we are in touch with our purpose and aligned with the actions that get us there, it flows differently. So don’t regret that you can’t change your mind over what is gone, rather celebrate that you can change it again and start over.