Today I am grateful for the universe and synchronicity. A week or so ago I wrote a piece called “The Dash” and I talked about making the most of the time we have on this Earth. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and working on putting together the pieces of how I want my life to look. I’m reading Tabitha Brown’s book, Feeding the Soul, and last night, she discussed the same topic. It hit me right in the face along with her other lessons on being patient and understanding that the world doesn’t work on our timeline. Things are going just fine and I need to remember that—and be patient.
Today I am grateful for healing. I have been doing a lot of deep work in between minor mental break downs and overwhelm and constant pressure and I realized that break down is now my break through. I woke up entirely different today, with a clarity I haven’t had before. I know exactly what I will and will not tolerate in my life any longer. I am aware that it is still going to take time to get where I want to, but I know where I’m going. I know the steps to take to get there because I woke up understanding that this is it. This is the shot that I have and I don’t want to waste another decade of my life doing what someone else wants me to or building someone else’s dream. It’s time and I am worth it.
Today I am grateful for comfort. I feel no guilt for curling up on the couch and watching some TV under a blanket and indulging in some healthy treats. I’m grateful to find my way back to me and nourish myself mentally by setting the boundary for what I will tolerate and physically with some cooking. I got back in the kitchen for the first time in months to meal prep for the short week and it felt amazing. It was time to prioritize my health again. And I did some self-care last night and am just getting myself on this new track. Trying new things and allowing things to happen as they need to.
Today I am grateful to be in my skin. I am legitimately thrilled to be in my home, watching my TV, in my office, playing with my kid, cooking in my kitchen, doing the things I want to be doing. I have read in other works before talking about a sudden awakening, a sudden shift in perspective where you are suddenly never the same again. I woke up today absolutely different today. There is something to be said for making decisions that are for you alone that puts you firmly in your own identity. It isn’t about arrogance or making things go your way, but standing in the unshakeable foundation of who you are clarifies where to go next. It feels like it has been years I’ve been looking for the missing puzzle pieces and suddenly they are there. I am able to put it together into the work that I am. And I am happy.
Today I am grateful for reminders of love. My husband and I were talking about our parents and grand parents on Saturday and I mentioned a sign that my grandmother had. He offhandedly said, “The one that was in her kitchen?” I nearly broke down crying because I never talked about it and although he knew my grandmother well, I didn’t think he paid attention to that. It meant so much to me and I realized that I really am too hard on him. I mean, some of the complaints are legitimate but I can ease up. I don’t give him enough credit at times and I have to remember that he does love me. It’s our job to support each other, not to do what the other one says—we are both meant to be happy.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead!