“There are do-overs in life—you get one every morning,” Mel Robbins. We aren’t meant to be perfect. We are meant to be in a state of constant learning and adaptation. That is simply how the world, how nature works. My anxiety leads to a lot of controlling behaviors and, while I know logically that I can only control myself, my incessant need to soothe my fears make me control outward situations and people—or try to. We all want our lives to look a certain way and I know first hand that if you want something, you have to do what it takes to get there. For example, you can’t simply wish to be successful, you need to put in the work to create. You have to define what success looks like to you, and you have to meet your own metrics and expectations to determine if you’ve met your goal. I’ve personally taken it to the extreme at times and that control has bled into areas it shouldn’t have.
But that is the beauty of this quote. Nature doesn’t get disappointed in us—that is our ego and our training to believe that if we don’t succeed the first time around that we are failures. If we fail to meet our own metrics, we have the ability to adapt and try again or we can change the metric. Nothing has to be static. We get to take the opportunities that don’t go our way to learn and go the way they are meant to be. Even if it isn’t a “failure,” we are fortunate enough to decide we want something different and to try a new way. WE DECIDE.
There’s a line in Bittersweet Symphony from The Verve that says, “And I’m a million different people from one day to the next,” and it hits so beautifully true. We live our lives based on beliefs we were either taught or picked up somewhere and we don’t often look at the source. Human nature is to go with the crowd so we don’t feel lonely and don’t make waves. But when we look at the context and realize what is and isn’t of our own doing, we start to question our ability to adapt. We are meant to be adaptable and flexible and to learn. That is why each day is different.
The point is even if we don’t succeed in what we set forth for ourselves on one day, we are given the gift to try again the next. Creating our lives isn’t a destination but so many of us decide to stop moving one day. We achieve the minimum of what is set for us or we believe the next step is out of reach so we get complacent. We get fearful. We lose faith—in ourselves and in the universe. But those rumblings of our true nature won’t let us rest. We can either heed them or hide from them. When we listen to our true nature, we are answering the call and we know the magic of following the path laid out for us even if we are the only one to see it.
Don’t spend too many days wondering what things would be like “if only.” Recognize the precious gift we have in waking up and live your life to the fullest. Take advantage. That is the thrill of life—trying things out. There is too much pressure and value put on routine. I will caveat that with there is a time and a place for routine but the secret is to make it our own. Don’t wait for someone to tell you when to go to bed and when to wake up and drive to work and sit behind a desk for eight hours a day and then drive home and not work on your own dreams. Before you go to bed, find a way to carve out time for yourself the next day. Plan out and make room for the pieces of you that need to be expressed. When you wake up, do it with intention and love and gratitude. And take the step toward your life.