Love Me, Love You- Purpose in Solitude

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“Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself,” Robert Tew.  Following up on our discussion of solitude as an anxiety remedy, I want to remind you that there are times you need to separate from the crowd simply to reconnect to yourself.  This is something I had to do personally over the last few weeks.  The amount of input from people around me was simply too much.  All of the opinions and feedback and people needing things with no consideration for returning got to be too much.  We all carry heavy burdens and when the demands outweigh the ability to recharge, the balance is too far gone. 

We are absolutely powerful creatures and we have the ability to shape our lives.  The more we appreciate those abilities and recognize them for what they are, the more we are able to appreciate ourselves.  The day to day world has gotten more and more chaotic over the last few years.  That isn’t to say chaos never existed, but we are a culture in hyper drive, always connected and always on.  The beauty of being connected to each other is that we can share in ways we never have before.  But that connection does have a cost.  We feel the pressure to always be on top of things and to constantly consume.  We aren’t designed to bring in and fill our minds with extraneous details day after day, stressors of the world, or compete and compare 24/7.  We are designed to co-create and build.  There has to be a balance between input and output and we take in far more than we produce.  Marie Forleo has an entire philosophy about producing before consuming and it is true.  We have to discharge the uncomfortable feelings inside of us and deflect those around us in order to connect with the energy of creation inside.  We are meant to bring ideas to life and to share them.

Sitting with ourselves can be a scary thing.  I know when I’m quiet with my thoughts, I feel surges of energy that I confuse.  I mean, I feel like I can do anything and I want to harness my mind but then I feel like I can run 10 miles and make meals and play with my kid and run the world.  It’s chaotic and overwhelming.  This is where the ability to discern what needs addressing first comes in.  I still get scared at this point and the urge to control comes in.  I struggle to decide what to do first.  While I feel like I can do anything, I have a hard time seeing where to start.  And there are days I disappoint myself either from not taking advantage of the energy or from starting too many things and not seeing them through.  I’m working on not taking it too hard and forgiving myself for mismanaging that energy.  But it’s hard to see it for what it is when I want to get results.  I know I’m not alone in this.

So one thing to look for is where the energy is coming from.  Is it genuinely a surge of inspiration that you need to act on or is it a compulsion?  A need to move for the sake of movement or is it something that will yield results.  The silence is helpful there as well.  If you’re not sure which way to go, start with thanking your mind for producing so many opportunities.  Then appreciate yourself for the ability to see one of them through.  Then thank the universe for the means to connect and create.  But if you feel like your mind is running rampant simply because it has no focus or you’ve been around too many people or looking at too much social media, then take a moment to do nothing.  Perhaps take the time to start journaling the emotion behind it and find the truth.         

There is peace in solitude and there is comfort in learning what works for ourselves.  Simplicity is key to finding what we really need.  My sister shared a beautiful visualization with me as a grounding exercise.  Imagine your brain is a room that has all of the dials to what happens in your mind and body.  When things get too loud or too busy or even just if there is just too much outside stimulation, pause and go to that room.  Look closely at the dials and start turning down the ones that are too much.  Feel the noise lessening and listen to what remains.  We do have control of what we allow in our lives and that starts with what is in our minds. 

2 thoughts on “Love Me, Love You- Purpose in Solitude

  1. Wonderful piece. Sorely needed. I have taken a break from writing and conquering the world. I have been making my apartment my home. Getting cute furnishings I have been wanting to get and have and put up since before mom passed in 2016. I allowed that event to stop ME from living. Did a huge disservice to myself and mom’s memory. Am living my best life. Mom would be proud. I know I am. I shall get back to conquering the world, when I have recharged my batteries. Until then, I have given myself PERMISSION to just be. Is important to just be. Wonderful read. Must do seconds. Thank you….


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