“I don’t think bigger dreams are necessarily better dreams; Your dreams are there for a reason. It’s like each of us has an inner compass, this guidance system. You wouldn’t have this dream in your heart if you didn’t have what it takes to make it real,” Marie Forleo. I went through a period where I didn’t think anything I did would succeed. It felt like the things I wanted in life didn’t matter and that I was destined to be a doormat, always helping others get where they wanted to go, and they never returned the favor. After a series of intense losses and a long period of feeling stuck in place, I started looking at what I created around me. I saw a hodge podge of things I had already done, projects already started but never finished, a few bits that I tried because others did it, and a small portion of the things I wanted to do but never did.
I spent a lot of days feeling sorry for myself and it took a long time to start doing the work and looking at where these issues were coming from. I realized that the tasks I had chosen to carry were not mine. Those things were not my purpose. Let me tell you as soon as I turned that focus inward and really started questioning what it was that I needed and wanted to do, that is when life took off. Not that I suddenly had the answers and created everything I wanted in one bound, more that a clarity developed and I learned to discern what was for me and what wasn’t. The things I really liked and what I didn’t.
I also spent a lot of time believing that what I wanted wasn’t worthy. I worked for many years in an area where my boss was content to let me deal with the brunt of the work and take all the credit. I started at such a young age that I didn’t know how to approach or bring attention to the issues and when I went for outside help, I was told that’s just how it is. My young mind believed it. I didn’t think there was any room for what I wanted and that I was only there to give up my ideas. I genuinely believed that the universe would treat me like some Cinderella and when I was worthy, all that I wanted would be bestowed upon me. After too many prince-less nights, I realized that I had to tell a different story.
As I spent time with that inner voice and learned to tune into it better, the more I let what wasn’t for me fall away. I was able to hear what was really mine and what came from the outside. Soon the voice that told me, “You’ll never be able to do it,” and, “Things only work when they are for other people,” and, “You will never get where you want to go,” turned into something else. I started hearing, “That isn’t for you,” and, “Your talent is elsewhere,” and “If they can do it, so can you.” The work turned into a HOW do I get this done instead of I will never be able to do this. As soon as I shifted, possibilities started opening. Once I saw those possibilities, I started working on the how.
Creating the life you want takes practice and it isn’t an overnight thing. It’s a gradual awakening, where you start to get comfortable with what you’re thinking and feeling and setting the boundaries to create the life you want. Then the self-confidence and the belief that you can do it comes in. As Marie said, we all have an inner guidance system. It’s all mapped out for us, we just have to learn to read our own rather than look at someone else’s. And the dream doesn’t have to be big—it just has to be ours. The whole universe opens up when you follow your path. No matter how big or small, you need to put energy into it otherwise you will put energy into someone else’s. Believe me, if it’s in your head, it’s meant for you.