“It is super important to love yourself where you are but I can’t stress enough that you must also learn to feel the pain of the things in your life that you’re not satisfied with,” Tom Bilyeu. I’ve spoken before about balancing where we are with where we want to be and how we have the power to direct that. I believe in intention and that includes deciding what you want and being able to direct your life that way. All it takes is focused action in alignment with the goal. As someone who spent a lot of time hating herself, I know that the first part of Bilyeu’s quote is key: it is SO important to love yourself where you are. You can’t move forward without loving yourself as you are because that is how you learn your worth. Knowing you are worthy enough to go after what you want is the only way you learn to develop enough confidence, strength, and faith in yourself to go after it.
Loving yourself where you are is an ownership of how you got there. It’s also a chance to appreciate how far you’ve come. It’s also about feeling the hunger for something more and the belief that you’re able to go after it and achieve it. Ironically, that kind of confidence often comes when we look at what we’ve built and realizing we don’t want anything to do with it. Admitting that your energy may have been for nothing is exhausting and humiliating. It is painful to live a life not in line with who you are. At the same time it is completely liberating because it puts you on the path of what you DO want. That is the point of what we are talking about: sometimes it takes getting uncomfortable to get what you want.
I always believed that I needed a 9-5 to be secure. I thought that type of work would protect me and make me successful. The truth is I’ve done very well in that environment and I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have the opportunities that crossed my path. But it still doesn’t fully match the lifestyle I want. I still need permission to do anything. Any project I have needs to be in line with company goals, not my vision. I need permission to take time off. I have to stay late and miss out on time with my kid if I’m needed or if something needs to get done. I have to address issues as they come up even if I’m not in the office. My life is not my own. Again, I’ve been fortunate, I will never snub my nose at what I’ve achieved. But I want more.
As I’m getting older, I’m seeing that our health, time, and freedom are the most valuable assets we have. Those are literally irreplaceable. I had to learn that my projects, my writing and sharing—that is what I really love. Not being cooped up in an office with no windows or making rounds on different departments multiple times a day. I want to spend my time doing different work. I’ve had to work really hard to change my beliefs around how someone can earn an income. It’s scary to go out on your own and rely on yourself to make it happen—but feeling the pain of settling is greater than the fear of going after something with enormous potential.
All of that starts with that pain point Bilyeu is talking about. When you see that you aren’t fully satisfied—not that you’re ungrateful, but that you can do more—that is when you learn to maximize your potential. Meeting yourself where you’re at is how you start. From there, it’s all about your drive and dedication. Knowing you can do it. Knowing what you want and setting clear goals to get there. And most importantly, acting on it. Don’t shy away from the pain, appreciate where you’re at, get honest with yourself, and make the moves.