“Your emotional intelligence and intuition will offend everyone who can’t run game on you,” via awakening body. Understanding the energy of what is going on around us is really key. During a conversation this weekend, The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield came up. Sidenote, that is one of my favorite series of all time. We talked about the chaos of this past year and how everyone is at their breaking point. Redfield talks about how when people lose control, they start exercising their “control dramas” on those around them. These range from an aloof persona where people behave as victims to achieve their needs to the aggressor who demands other people meet their needs. After a year of sustained trauma, people are so frustrated that they desperately cling to any control they have.
The interesting point is that there are clearly people who are aware of this and there are clearly those who are not. Those who are aware recognize that control is a defense mechanism and they may even be astute enough to know what caused it. Many more pretend they have no issues whatsoever and continue to demand people bend to their whim. Emotional intelligence is the former. That isn’t to say that those who are aware don’t fall back into old habits. It is to say that they recognize them quicker and are willing to address it.
There are moments I’m quick to recognize what I’m doing when I fall into my control drama and others take me a long time to decipher. Regardless, it’s amazing to see people change their tune when you behave outside the lines they have drawn for you. When you no longer fulfill their purpose, these people are quick to gaslight and flip the story that it’s your fault they didn’t get what they wanted.
We aren’t here to feed into other people’s definitions of who we are. Redfield talks about recognizing a control drama in others and moving past it by addressing it directly. For example, an aggressor will demand you do what they say and become angry if you don’t comply. We address that by asking such a person, “why are you angry that there may be more than one way to do this?” I’m not crazy, I know having these conversations in this day and age is incredibly challenging. But I have hope that we will be able to communicate that way with each other some day.
Emotional intelligence is about knowing who you are on the deepest level and understanding your patterns. These aren’t things we teach in school. Kids are highly intuitive, and honestly, that is when we should start working with them to express themselves in a healthy manner. As adults, recognizing our patterns means putting aside ego and accepting our humanity. And being human means that we all have the capacity to mess up. We also have the capacity to learn and create a collective intention. That starts with understanding that not everyone is for us and being ok with that. Expect to lose those around you who disappear when you do something for yourself or those who become angry when you have a different opinion. And be ok with it.