“Take care of the vehicle that carries your soul,” Marie Forleo. You’d think after the last 7 months with all of the health issues I’ve endured that this would be hard-wired into me. It’s not like I don’t want to take care of myself, it’s just that the habits aren’t fully engaged. I used to use the excuse it was hard to maintain being healthy while there was a ton of junk food in the house (which is true) but that only keeps me weak. I need to develop the will power to stick with what is good for me, to be who I say I am. I’m not happy with the way I’ve treated my body, especially over the last few weeks. I absolutely let stress get the best of me and I let go of some of my practices that kept me in shape. During the pregnancy, I was too sick to do anything and I was on infusions that curbed the nausea, but not enough to keep me mobile.
Knowing I’m approaching 40 and this will only get harder in the future, I know I need to take care of myself. I feel THAT in my soul. I know that is part of taking care of myself as well—listening to what is in my soul. My soul tells me to stop giving into the crap and to start looking at the perceived failures differently. It outright tells me to take care of myself because I have a purpose here and I will need to be around for a while to fulfill it. It tells me to break the generational habits of self-destruction disguised as not having time to care for self because others need me more—i.e. stop the martyrdom tactics. It tells me to do something different and let go of my fears and LOVE myself.
There are signs from my body as well. At the simplest level, I don’t feel good. At the highest level, I know I need to do much better. I have to stop giving into bad habits I used to comfort my ego and thicken up my skin to be the person I want to. As we try to move to the next level, the universe tests us with ways to revert to what we know. It takes a strong determination to stick with what we want over going with the familiar.
I’m very slowly learning the habits I want to incorporate because I’m looking at the life I want and what it will take to create it. The actions I take don’t always serve that goal, so it’s time to change them. There is nothing wrong with deciding that you no longer want to be who you were. You just need the conviction to stick with it and do what it takes. It’s a resolution to let go of what you thought it could be and accepting what is. It’s taking action on what you can and letting the rest lie. Taking care of self isn’t a chore, it’s a gift with responsibility. We are meant to fulfill our purpose and that means being strong enough to let go of what we want in favor of what we need to do. That means understanding our bodies are incredibly strong and can do more than we think, yet they are fragile and need to be handled with care. Listen to what it’s telling you.