“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not,” via soul guidance. At the core of everything I haven’t done has been the belief that I can’t do it. How cruel is that? I’ve started many adventures in my life, always feeling the same excitement of beginning something and then I’ve found myself lost in my own thoughts and finding a way to sabotage what I’ve wanted. At work I’m learning a new area and I’ve felt myself hiding behind the fact that I’ve never done it before. I started thinking back and I can’t think of a time where I’ve honestly jumped into something unknown. I’ve either been afraid of not doing it, of not doing it right, or I’ve been afraid I would be taken advantage of and end up responsible for something I didn’t want to do.
Now, I’m asking if that is who I want to be. Perhaps the “nos” I’ve said were really missed opportunities and me hiding behind something I didn’t know prevented me from knowing it sooner. What does that say? Do I think I’m incapable? I think I’m the person who can’t do it in spite of evidence to the contrary. THAT is what holds me back. The underlying thought that I won’t succeed is deeply engrained and it often makes itself known in the form of stopping me before I start.
The good news is that this is a matter of changing perspective. It’s remembering the wins and the successes and the ventures of things I never thought I could do—and then did. All of the things I did are things that have moved me forward. They were things like starting to share my writing that brought me closer to who I am. It made me feel most comfortable in my skin and it made me feel accomplished to share. THAT is who I am. Hiding behind the things I wanted to do and wishing for things to be different—that isn’t me.
I no longer want to be the party in the room who feels like I’m trying to keep up or who doesn’t know what they’re doing. I may not know everything—no one can know everything—but I know I can bring what I DO know to the table. I wouldn’t be there if they wanted something else. I wouldn’t be there if they didn’t think I could do it—and the truth is I am that person. I don’t need to devalue myself and my contributions to look for accolades. I just need to perform. Doing the work has never stopped me from getting anywhere—but pretending I couldn’t for whatever reason has stopped me. I thought I was keeping myself safe when I was preventing myself from getting what I needed.
This is another reason why authenticity is so important. It will get you exactly where you need to be every time. it may not be comfortable and it may not appear in ways you thought it would, but it will always be exactly what you need. Authenticity is what moves you forward, not being what other people tell you to be—or being what you think other people want you to be. If you have to change who you are to be accepted anywhere, then you don’t belong. True acceptance means everything about you is welcomed and valued. We need that in order to be who we are—and anything we are not needs to be shed. Look for those who encourage your greatness, not those who make you be something else. And always make sure you know your worth—it’s more than you think.