Today I am grateful for boundaries. I set some important boundaries with my husband today. We have a bad habit of taking on more than we can chew and then trying to back out of it. I told him that it’s time to purge and get rid of the things that no longer serve us or our goals, and it is time to stop sabotaging ourselves by hiding behind material things. We created a cycle of wanting to achieve a goal and then spending time preparing and buying things to get there and then letting it fizzle out. It isn’t about having stuff, it’s about what you do. I transitioned us to goal setting and following through. It also involves being honest and recognizing our limits before we overwhelm ourselves.
Today I am grateful for the boundaries I set for myself as well. I understand that more isn’t always better—sometimes you need to take on just what you can do whether it is realizing you can’t replace the floor in the living room on your own or you only need one burrito at lunch, sticking within your doesn’t make you less than—it makes you healthy. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you know what you can commit to and still manage to do it well while taking care of yourself.
Today I am grateful for a do-over. We had a rough Saturday (more to come on that this week) and I was not proud of how I behaved. I am grateful to wake up today and know that I am able to do better than I did. I am grateful to try again and to approach a challenging situation from a place of love.
Today I am grateful to remember love. Continuing on second chances, I had to remember who I want to be. I don’t want to be an angry kill-joy obsessed with perfection. I want to enjoy life and I want to bring love and a sense of joy to the every day. I am lucky to have the people in my life that I do and I would rather enjoy the time with them as they are than lament the time I have with them wishing they were someone else living up to my expectations. I am blessed to have the support I do and I do not take that for granted.
Today I am grateful for authenticity. Every day I’m working to say yes to who I am and no to who I no longer want to be—to say no to the things that don’t work for me any longer. I’ve been on edge the last week but I have also never felt more empowered. Living the live I want has involved taking massive responsibility and accountability for the way things are. I’ve been sitting with some tough truths about decisions I’ve made that have gotten me where I am today. There are parts of me that I am still working on but I’m seeing how even the “darker” portions serve a purpose. I am not meant to play small.
Today I am grateful for action. This has actually been a theme for me the last few weeks and it really does feel good. I used to approach my day with the things I “have” to do—and waking up with that mentality immediately creates a sense of obligation for the day. I’m now grateful to look at the day as the things I want to do or the things I get to do. That little change in mindset makes it all doable.
Today I am grateful for clarity. Living with anxiety is truly difficult because most days get clouded by overwhelm with all the things I’ve taken on or with the sense of obligation that I mentioned above. I’m learning that having a true sense of clarity, a plan for the day based on goals you want to achieve (for that day only) makes it a lot easier to accomplish things. It takes away the sense of burden in the day to day and replaces it with a sense of peace. I can’t master everything, but I am able to take on what I’ve set up for myself.
Today I am grateful for feeling whole again. I’ve felt so lost the last few weeks. Incomplete and unsure of what to do. I felt halfway between the lost child and the wounded woman and everywhere between the two. On Saturday I felt completely useless. Nothing had gone how I thought it would and I questioned my capabilities on everything from my career to motherhood to being a wife to whether or not I was able to finish projects around the house. Today I woke up and took a walk with the dog. I hydrated and fed all the animals. I watered my plants. Then I sat down and got to work. I took my son out while my husband worked on the house. We ate lunch together today and sat out on the deck in the sun for about 25 minutes. Then we napped. The simple action of getting to the store and completing the tasks we needed was so reaffirming to me because I haven’t been able to do anything on my own for the last few weeks. It was nice to feel like I could function again and that I could accomplish something. Recharging after lunch made me feel like there is so much life left. I am still here.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead