Today I am grateful for rebirth. The symbolism of this day is not lost on me this year. Yesterday was my birthday and I miscarried what would have been my second child. There had been issues from the beginning with my hormone levels, the size of my baby, the heart rate, profuse bleeding, polyps, and an inability to keep anything down or function. I had been living in an in-between, waiting for my body to recover or release and it took weeks. I knew the day was coming and I know that having it happen on my birthday was a sign of cleansing and moving into the next phase of my life. As difficult as it was, I feel relief. I’m no longer feeling ill, I can function again, and I can move forward. It will take time to recover, yes, but I am in a better place to do that now.
Today I am grateful for love. With everything I’ve been going through I have felt such an enormous outpouring of love from family, friends, and coworkers. I truly have never felt so supported in my life and it is an amazing feeling.
Today I am grateful to see the sun again—in more ways than one. It’s a gorgeous Easter Sunday—72 degrees, sun shining bright and it is such an uplifting day. I feel so happy to see such a beautiful day and spend time with my family. I miss the tradition of the day since we aren’t all together, but I am so happy to pass on some love and hope and to share some time together.
Today I am grateful to step back into my purpose. The last 6 weeks have been so hard, emotionally, and physically. I could barely play with my son, I spent every day sick, I was missing time from work, I had infusions, endless bloodwork and ultrasounds, I was on tons of medication. I didn’t even feel like me. I kept my work going, yes, but it was no small feat. For that I am grateful as well. But the way things have worked out have brought me closer to something else: my truth and what I really need to do. The release of fear, the understanding of miracles looking different than we expect, and appreciating what we have.
Today I am grateful to see truth in others. I’ve begun the process of evaluating the content of my life including people I thought I looked up to or aspired to be like, or even people I considered inspirational. I understand we don’t get to see all sides of everyone’s story—that isn’t possible nor is it necessary or healthy. But when you experience life at its most vulnerable and raw and are forced to deal with your own bullshit, you start to see through the bullshit everywhere else. I’ve seen tons of people talking about cleaning up your feed—it’s the damn truth. If someone is spouting crap in your life, you’re taking that in—let it go.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.