After a year of sustained mental trauma, let’s look at where we were at this time last year to where we are now.  People started as angry and scared and confused, and now, people are angry, scared, and confused, just for different reasons.  During this whole time we still haven’t managed to change much other than our tolerance for ambiguity—and that is because we will do what we want regardless of the directive.  Physically, we have lost over half a million people in this country alone and that number is climbing.  People are scared and looking for ANY answer to change what this looks like.  They are more willing to risk themselves for the off chance that they will be able to live a normal life again than they are to simply stop.

I don’t pretend there are/were easy answers to any of this—anything that was decided would have been incredibly difficult to implement and it would have meant massive change for everyone, even if it was only for a short time.  But I also don’t pretend that any of this was managed well.  That is because we focused more on protecting our economy than on protecting the people.  We believed that managing an economy, a man-made system, would somehow save the people.  We forgot that we can create a new way to thrive—economies rise and fall and fluctuate all the time.  We can replace it.  We can’t replace the people we’ve lost.

As far as how we function, I’ve personally felt a particular sense of being rushed and needing to accomplish more and more.  It wasn’t all my personal drive, it was because I’ve been pulled in a million directions, trying to “save” something.  I’ve felt so disoriented that my mind spins trying to make sense of anything and that is why I’m trying to finish so many things—I’m trying to make all of this have meaning.  So many people are trying to make things make sense—it doesn’t matter if it’s the right answer, they just want to have some sort of answer.    

That is completely natural.  Humans are designed to evaluate danger and either kill it, run from it, or fix it.  We have been trying to treat this like every other crisis that we’ve faced before, and you can’t make a natural disaster, a global pandemic behave how you want it to.  While I agree that we didn’t necessarily have the time to “wait and see,” this situation required a certain level of patience and responsible observation.  It wasn’t ours to control—that’s evident by the evolution of the disease.  It is ours to learn to adapt and to recognize that we don’t have all the answers.

I’m frustrated because we are essentially where we were a year ago.  In so many cases we haven’t learned anything.  I still see people behaving so desperately that they no longer know how to function with other people.  They are still entitled and demanding and don’t seem to get that the world doesn’t bend to their will.  Above all, THAT is the lesson: the world doesn’t move according to our schedule.  It moves on its own.  I believe that we will get out of this and I also believe that it will happen faster if we stop for a moment and look at this with fresh eyes.  Then we can start to heal.      

Lexico.com (powered by Oxford) defines growth in several ways. 1. The process of increasing in physical size.  2. The process of developing or maturing physical, mentally, or spiritually.  3. The process of increasing in amount, value, or importance. 4. The increase in number and spread of small or microscopic organisms.  There are more, but I feel this covers the general point.  Which, in fact, many people question when they look at growth.  What is the point?  Is it to become something else?  Or is it to become a better version of what we are?  I believe it can be both.  I want to add my own definition and say that I believe growth contains the spectrum of forward progress indicating forward momentum beneficial to the majority.  Put simply: live with intention for the good of all by adapting to new ways of doing things in place of outdated functions that no longer serve. 

Growth indicates change—a topic we will be discussing closely—and all of that means recognizing that something isn’t working.  Sometimes it’s a little thing.  Sometimes the whole world as we know it falls apart.  Growth also means redefining goals and how we get there—and understanding our place in the grand scheme of things. 

I am the first to admit that my ego gets in the way all the time.  I have a terrible habit of wanting to do things and then not fully appreciating the work involved—so I don’t do it.  It isn’t that I feel it’s beneath me, I just don’t feel it’s worth the effort.  This can apply to a lot of things, I’m really not picky.  Sometimes I’m just lazy and prioritize comfort over progress.  We all do it.  We’re human.  But in order for us to grow, we have to look at the world a bit differently.  We have to understand our impact on the world and that how we decide to behave will affect things.  That means realizing that our ego can no longer call the shots and making decisions with a clear frame of reference outside of personal opinion.

But here is the catch: you have to know yourself well enough to know what you are able to contribute so that means there is a degree of recognizing what works for you and what doesn’t.  It’s like asking the moon to be the sun instead.  It can’t happen, and even though it t knows the concept and it shines, it has to shine in its own way.  It’s not about ego, it’s about recognizing purpose.  It’s pointless to ask a flower to be anything other than a flower—it can’t be done.  We are the same but we are fortunate enough to apply our abilities in a different way.  And, that too, is growth.    

As I mentioned yesterday, we’ve been pushed to grow a lot over the last year.  I don’t want anyone to feel that time spent in this in between has been in vain.  Even if you feel like you accomplished nothing, flip that right now.  There has been so much collective healing going on from simple things like realizing our own toxicity and the need to change all the way to concentrated efforts to start something over.  Awareness is always the first step.  It’s also a matter of being open to change and what comes with it. We’ve seen over and over again over the last 365 days that, more often than not, the world doesn’t go according to our plans.  Growth is scary because it means giving up something you wanted in favor of something that may not go how you thought it would.  Sometimes we have to get our hands dirty and sometimes we just have to let go.  Either way, learn what that thing is that makes you go, “Hell yes” and do that.  Marie Forleo says, “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.”  That is a wonderful guide because those inner messages we get, those sparks of intuition that tell us to go for it or not, are always with us.  Practice listening to those flashes more often and you will start seeing those feelings as guides toward the growth you are called to experience.  Do that and see how your world changes.

“The level up will require you to push yourself past what you know yourself to be”—spiritual quora.  The last year has brought us things we never thought we would see whether it was working and schooling from home, to wearing masks everywhere, to experiencing holidays apart, to not going out with friends anymore.  Some of that is fine and well but we haven’t really processed the level of loss that really came with the whole thing.  We have been deprived of real human contact for over a year.  We have had to learn new means of communicating as normal.  We have lost jobs, homes, people.  Life is no longer what we knew it to be—and I think that is for a reason. 

The last year in all of its horrific experience has put us in a position where we are supposed to grow.  We are supposed to be uncomfortable, we should be horrified at what is going on, we should feel sadness witnessing what is happening all around us.  Without those feelings how would we level up?  Complacency no longer serves us and nature is quite literally telling us that what we have been doing no longer works—we need to level up.

I’ve often quoted the line that says, “Sometimes when things seem to be falling apart, they are falling into place.” Everything we know is falling apart, and I have wished repeatedly in the last 365 days that people would just stop.  Stop rushing to get through something that we don’t understand.  Stop trying to make the abnormal normal.  While it’s fine to adapt, it isn’t fine to adapt in ways we always have—and that is why the pause is so necessary.  We have to take the time to see what is different so we can see how to approach this.  We have to let what no longer serves fall away so we can remake something better for all.

I know I’ve spoken of that often—and I’ve failed often at seeing it through.  I’m human as much as the next person.  I didn’t make any noble gesture and quit my job or start setting up systems to aide people.  No, I kept doing my job.  I had some weak moments in buying unnecessary things to comfort myself.  And I made decisions like I’ve always made them.  We all do what we need to do to make it through the day, so I understand how people end up repeating what they are used to and how the pause is uncomfortable.  However, in looking at the big picture, we have to sense that we need something different.

All we can do is be more cognizant of our actions and more aware of the big picture.  So I will keep talking about it.  I will keep spreading hope that we can make the changes needed to make this world a better place for ourselves and for the future.  I will keep acknowledging my humanity and that of everyone else because our paradigms are shifting and we need a new foundation that steadies us in what we really are.  Leveling up doesn’t mean acquiring more—it means releasing more.  Letting go of more fear, more wants, more “have-to’s.”  It means looking at our own needs and being comfortable acknowledging that everyone’s needs are the same—and we all have the right to meet those needs.  It means following what we are called to do.  It means bravely stepping forward and showing who we are.  That is the most important thing we can do now.  The rest will fall into place as we push past what we are comfortable with and into what comes next.