This month we examine love. I know, it’s cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less important. My goal this month is to really break down this word that is thrown around billions of times a day and to see what it means. The truth is love really does mean different things to different people. There are even different types of love within the same group. Some spend decades looking for it and others detest the idea of it.
So what is love? What’s the big deal? And why do we put such an emphasis on needing it to be a certain way? It’s funny that we assume love would need to be anything when love, by its very definition, simply is. I want to talk about all of this because I’ve been in the process of learning what love really is. I want to look at self-love, love in relationships, and love in families or close groups.
What really got me started on this topic is that I’ve been with my husband for 20 years this year. We have a child and we have been through the gamut with each other. We were young when we got together and there are times I know that we are not loving each other well. I thought I knew early in my life what love was. I didn’t understand that it was anything different to other people. There comes a point, however, when you spend such a great length of time with someone that you start to notice things aren’t what you think they are. things are projecting how you make them, but that doesn’t mean it’s real.
Love doesn’t make demands and has no expectations, yet I have high expectations of everything. So is that really love? Does love exist in a state where we are conflicted? Absolutely. But we HAVE forgotten what love really is. I don’t pretend to have that answer, but I know that there is a sense of coming back to something with real love.
For me, love is a source. It’s a belief that there is something connecting us all to each other and connecting us back to source as well—that thing inside of all of us that drives us and gives us meaning for being here. Love is seeing people as they are, giving them enough space to be who they are, and doing the same for ourselves.
Love is imperfect and messy and changes all the time. There are a few constants about love. One is that we all feel it in some way. The other is that we need it in some way. It’s our job to find our way back to love through ourselves. To learn to not demand our needs be met by someone else. There is a lot going on in this world and we all need a little extra support. So let’s take this month and decide to relearn what we think we know. Let’s take this time to figure out the parts of us that need love again (spoiler alert—it’s every part).
So here is to learning, unlearning, and loving—everything.