Today I am grateful for hope of a new beginning. We have a chance as a whole to embrace a new chapter. A chapter that is equitable and filled with possibility for all. A chapter founded on the belief that we should all have the chance to create the life we want without unnecessary duress. A chapter founded on the belief that humanity is more important than our bottom line.
Today I am grateful for the chance to create a new history in the process of blazing a trail. I will not get into a political tirade but I can unequivocally declare that the last four years have been a spotlight on what is wrong with, not only our country, but with our sense of humanity. Our highest office has been held by a misogynistic racist of a showman determined to drive us into submission unless your bank account was big enough. As a healthcare worker experiencing this pandemic under this office, I can tell you it has been a nightmare—and it never needed be that way. As a woman, having the fact highlighted that people can automatically discount you in a million ways based on gender—and to have nearly half a nation revere these behaviors—it is disheartening to see how much work we still have to do. But I have hope that we are headed in the right direction.
Today I am grateful for communication. I have a close family member who holds different views than I do regarding the election and we discussed that today. While we agreed to disagree, it felt nice to be able to express opinions and share ideas with the resolve that we would be working toward something better for everyone in spite of those differences.
Today I am grateful for the privilege of time and resources. I was able to spend a ton of time focused on my business this weekend. I was able to cook beautiful food, work on my webpage, and work on my writing. Granted I feel exhausted, but I am so, so blessed to be able to create and share what I have. I do not take a second of that for granted.
Today I am grateful for the beautiful breeze flowing through my house. The evening is calm as the sun goes down and the delicious air feels like it’s clearing my house. It feels like a weight has been lifted. It’s a peaceful evening—and I am so lucky to have that.
Today I am grateful. Just a note in general—I am grateful to just exist in this moment and not worry about what needs to be done next. To not worry about tomorrow. To not worry about anything that may need to be done but to be in this moment.
“You cannot sustain anything all of the time. Allow things to flow as they do. Life acts as a natural wave, so flow with the wave. Don’t expect anything to be sustained or the same. Understand the flow, and you’ll be fine; fight it and you’ll suffer” Sylvester McNutt III
This quote was absolutely needed today. I didn’t sleep well last night and I was STRUGGLING today. I had to go into work early and I was forcing myself to make it through the day. We are trained to constantly force and push and to keep going even when we know better and our bodies and minds are telling us that we need to pause. We have associated the pause with weakness and unworthiness and we have attached a meaning of worth and value for our ability to push through. We don’t often look at the ramifications of pushing through. On the most basic level I felt completely exhausted and beyond that I didn’t communicate well and my work was not what it should have been—plus I felt distracted all day.
When we take the time to pause and adjust to things as they come to us it’s easier to see what we have to do next. I wrote last week of being in a state of flow and how good it felt being able to navigate the day going from one activity to the next as it was needed. There was a feeling of weightlessness as I was guided between things that needed attention. Notice I didn’t say I was multitasking—I took the time to address each thing on its own.
The mindset is challenging to adopt all at once because the patterns of rushing, schedules, multi-tasking, and achievement are so engrained. But we instinctively know what feels better. It is natural to focus and complete—it is not natural to burn ourselves out. In our current state we value burnout because we associate it with worth. What if we learned to value ourselves over our achievements?
Knowing that there is a time for everything and that our patterns are meant to shift and evolve help us navigate our lives more organically. It feels more authentic. Again, this is a visceral reaction. We know when we are in flow BECAUSE it feels good. Forcing and pressure no longer exist. Know that as our self-created systems begin to fall apart it is a natural process.
We are meant to change and adapt and experience life as it comes. So relax and let go. Remind yourself of this often and when the tides change, know that you are meant to flow with the wave, not fight it.
Today I am grateful for the feeling of flow. Every now and then things align exactly how they are meant to and there is a seamless movement between what needs to be done and what you want to be doing. Today, blessedly, happened to be one of those days.
Today I am grateful for emotional progress. I had taken a few mental health days this past week and I feel good. I took small steps each day in an effort to feel stable and I realized that I need to take control of my actions. All of this turmoil (aside from the anxiety) is a direct result of my actions.
Today I am grateful for acceptance. Normally I am grateful for other people accepting me, but today, I am grateful that I am able to accept myself. Being in flow and transitioning without stress was a direct result of accepting myself and honoring what I wanted to do.
Today I am grateful for creativity. We weren’t able to go trick or treating last night so I devised an egg hunt of sorts for my son. I hid candy in little smashable eggs all over the house and let him find his treats that way. He had a blast, he got all sugared up, and he still enjoyed Halloween. I have been concerned about the influence this situation on my kid’s experience as a child. But doing special things for him has brought me closer to him because I have made sure to be present for him and to make sure he still has fun memories of being a kid even if they are different.
Today I am grateful for fun. I took down all of my Halloween decorations today and put up all of my fall décor. I know we are facing another different experience this Thanksgiving so it’s nice to have some fun and practice some of the norm. All of the little notes of gratitude that I put up in my home have a deeper meaning this year. I am grateful we are well and that we are together and that I am able to see my family and that they are all healthy as well.
Today I am grateful to see the sun and to feel the light. In these shortening, temperature-dropping days, it is nice to have such a beautiful day, to see the sun still shining so brightly. It felt like it was trying to make the hours count. The season has changed and I am ready for it.
Today I am grateful for rest. As I’m writing this a little earlier tonight, I am grateful to spend the next few hours relaxing and enjoying some cuddle time with my family. I’m grateful to slow down and take in the moment and hear the little “I love you’s” my son says. They mean everything to me.