Today I am grateful to clearly see the things that I need to work on. I spent time with a life-long friend and choices were made (I will discuss more of that later)…suffice it to say that I ended feeling less than myself and I was faced with aspects of myself that I had long been trying to ignore. I am grateful because, in spite of how much it hurt to hear these things, I am at the point where I am ready to accept these things about myself.
Today I am grateful for the unexpected. We had a family pumpkin picking trip today and the weather was awful, I had a ton of cleaning to do, I was not feeling well from the day before, and my anxiety has been through the roof for the last few weeks. We went to the pumpkin farm and just went with it. We fed goats and chickens and ducks and saw rabbits and peacocks and peahens and pigs. My kid got to play in muddy fields and we picked out pumpkins. We came home and we watched football and napped. It was worth it. It was worth every second of not doing what I was “supposed” to be doing. Breaking my routine today meant that I got to spend time with my family—almost my whole family—which we haven’t done in months. Breaking my routine meant I got to see my kid cold, happy, laughing, and loving time with our family.
Today I am grateful for signs. I came home and I was looking at Instagram and I saw a post from Jennifer Pastiloff showing her home as real as it is. In not so many words, she discussed how outward appearance is really not a good indicator of quality of life. Things can look amazing and be as fake as it comes while they can appear to be a total disaster and still be filled with love, happiness, warmth, creativity, and adventure. So I shared a post in homage to her—and she responded. Reading her words today reminded me how ok it was to let go and just live. There is more to be said for a life lived than a life that looks good. The picture with today’s post is as real as my life is today.
Today I am grateful for love. Love that doesn’t look a damn thing like I ever thought it would. My family and I, we are all so different, our relationships look different to each other, we experience our worlds differently—but we all love each other. Wildly, completely, intensely. We struggled and continue to struggle with communication at times but we are learning that it doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. And just because it doesn’t look the same, I am grateful to know that I have this love in my life.
Today I am grateful for rest. It has been an intensely emotional few weeks, this last weekend especially, and my body is telling me to just give in and relax. This is one of those times that pushing through will not work. So I am listening and cashing in for the night. I am going to read for a bit and I am going to sleep.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead!