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Photo by Bradley Hook on

Scrolling through Instagram today I saw an add for magnetic lashes.  You had to put this special liner on your eyes and these lashes stuck to it.  They stuck so hard they wouldn’t come off even if you pulled them.  We constantly put on a façade.  I’ve spoken about it before but seeing how pervasive and compulsive the need is to appear a certain way and to control other’s perceptions is really disturbing.  We have such little tolerance for natural or real.  We’ve forgotten how to identify what we really feel because we are so busy trying to appear a certain way.

Why?  Why do we have to present ourselves as fake? And worse, why do we encourage image over reality?  It feels manipulative to me, but when I really think about it, I know it’s protection.  We are protecting ourselves because we aren’t able to show our real selves.  We have to learn to stop poisoning ourselves in every way and to just be seen a certain way.  To be fair to those who simply enjoy makeup and use it as a form of expression, go for it!  Even for those who simply want to enhance themselves and look different for an evening, go for it!  The part I am against is the toxic belief that we need these things to look a certain way to be worthy.

Our revolution begins with self as I have mentioned before.  Start with taking care of yourself—good care of yourself.  Be patient and loving.  It means getting to know yourself and getting comfortable with your own wants and needs.  And then it means giving up distraction and focusing on the bigger picture, the bigger goal.  Dig.  Don’t buy into what you are told is necessary.  Do away with what doesn’t serve or nourish you.

As someone who has struggled with control issues nearly my entire life, I struggle with acceptance every day.  I’m good at helping people understand where they are at—but I struggle accepting where I am.  I am human and flawed and no amount of pushing will ever get me to the perfect image I have in my head.  What is perfect is life as it is.  Having a life is a gift – and it is perfect.  I can stop expecting the idea of perfection because it doesn’t exist.  Life will be perfect as it was meant to be.  That’s enough.  The goal isn’t to be a perfect human—it is to be perfectly human.

Tonight I end with a simple prayer that I want to share: I welcome all change in my life and accept the events that occur as what is meant to happen.  I give up control and accept what is brought into my life and I am grateful for the gifts I have been given.  I will share my gift with others.

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