I am so grateful for time with my son. We haven’t been feeling well the last few days so I have gotten an entire weekend of downtime with him—and it felt wonderful. I have been incredibly worked up and anxious for the last few weeks to the point of not knowing how to slow my mind down so my body did it for me. Sometimes the body knows how to take care of what the mind is asking for.
I am grateful for my body. This illness came out of nowhere but I feel remarkably good after being down for one day. Granted I was down hard…I don’t think I moved from the couch more than three or four times and I napped and I also fell asleep by 8pm. My body knew what to do—simply stop.
I am grateful for perspective. There is a lot going on…and there is a lot that I am trying to control. There is a lot that I am learning that I have no choice but to let go of. I need to just let go. I am working on it every day. A little bit more, every day. And sometimes the perspective is that when you think you have let go, you might need to let go some more.
I am grateful for creativity. I’m working on getting back in touch with myself. I tend to fixate on things I’m “supposed” to be doing or if I’m in the middle of something that’s all I focus on. I struggle to go with it. But I’m being reminded that I have to practice mindfulness and be present. The best way to do that is to get creative and have fun again.
I am grateful to constantly be learning. I’m seeing how much pressure I put on my life—and on those around me. And I’m learning that I need to relax that as well. I put an incredible amount of pressure for things to be perfect and it seems like I need to care a little less. Done is better than perfect and most of the time that is enough. Unrealistic expectations of things causes more issues.
I am grateful to open my life up to new possibilities. One thing that has become clear this year is that some plans are pointless. The niceties we create in this life are pointless. This year has shown an incredible amount of stripping away of the pretty little lies we layer ourselves in—and it has been amazing. It feels more authentic.