Seeing as the larger events are cancelled, I think this is an opportunity to examine what independence really means. In the spirit of independence day I decided that it is time for us to look at different forms of independence and how this is an opportunity to adjust how we treat our independence moving forward.
This year has seen a crazy amount of change and upheaval. While the world is no stranger to things changing, we are definitely strangers to it on this scale. In the US we are also strangers to the idea of universal impact. While different groups are dealing with this pandemic quite differently, there is not one person who hasn’t been touched somehow. There are specific groups of people who feel like they are untouchable, like there are just certain things that won’t affect them. This pandemic has been a great equalizer.
I listened to a live the other day from Sophia Roe discussing weathering and the impact on DNA. The short version is that we face trauma and it has an impact on our bodies and then we are continually exposed to that trauma so a lasting impact occurs and changes the structure of our bodies and DNA—and we pass it onto our children. The trauma of our past, the experiences of those who came before us lives inside of us. In a very real sense, when it comes to the passing of DNA from woman to daughter, this has ripples for generations. When the mother carries the daughter, that fetus carries all the eggs she will have in her lifetime so there are immediately 4 generations of people involved.
This amount of fear, anxiety, oppression, is so deeply rooted it is no wonder why it is so challenging to eliminate. While I 100% agree that we can no longer to afford to tolerate it on any level, I completely understand that this isn’t going to be eliminated overnight. Old habits, old beliefs, generations old fears will not be removed so easily. But I also know that we are 100% responsible for calling attention at every turn to these beliefs. We need to be hyper aware-not hyper sensitive. “I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect.
My worry at this point is that we are all very quick to adjust our interpretations of people’s behaviors so I will be clear to say that witch hunt mentality will not work in this case, either. Looking for things that people do wrong will defeat the purpose of learning. In order to unlearn there will be mistakes. Rubbing it in people’s faces will only foster more animosity and anger amongst each other. During this tie we have to be exceptionally patient and open and willing to accept people in their entirety. We have to be willing to see people as vulnerable and we have to be vulnerable. We have to be very willing to deal with flaws—and to accept them.
Perhaps we can create independence from those deep rooted traumas and to plant the seeds of real healing and recovery. Breaking out of a system that is designed to fail people and support business—that is independence